how not to treat your child: a lesson by my dad

  • do not

    • wake them up by screaming at them
    • tear the covers off them
    • manhandle them
    • make them feel so unsafe they have to lock their door
    • kick their door in
    • cause them to be locked in their own room when they close it because the doorknob is broken
    • tell them it's their own fault because they shouldn't have locked it again even though all they did was try to close it
    • take their journal
    • look through their devices
    • take their personal belongings
    • accuse them of being irresponsible online
    • shut the wifi off as a punishment
    • force unhealthy expectations onto them
    • treat them like your second chance at achieving your failed goals
    • force them to participate in your religion
    • make fun of them for their interests
    • make fun of them for their lifestyle choices
    • make fun of them for struggling in school
    • not allow them to communicate with friends online and then make fun of them for not having friends
    • threaten to kick them out of their house or make them sleep outside
    • push them
    • hit them
    • tell them you wish you could hit them but 'apparently i'll get in trouble since everything's abuse now'
    • expect them to treat you with respect
    • expect them to want to spend time with you
    • act shocked and accuse them of being selfish for not wanting to spend time with you
    • accuse them of thinking you're the worst person in the world for no reason
    • use bible verses as justification for abuse
    • be homophobic, transphobic, racist, ableist, and xenophobic (ur saying the r slur nd calling music/tv in other languages weird? in 2021? grow tf up)
    • etc

    idk, i expected abusing, gaslighting, and infringing on their rights to privacy to be basic things that everyone knows not to do to a child, but ig not. :/

    i'd add more but i've blocked out so much stuff... yay trauma!

    i feel like i shouldn't post this. idk how to end it. this isnt really a valuable post. just a rant. :oops:

  • My dad in a nutshell, except the the racism and religion parts. He also made fun of me cuz I listened to a certain group (not kpop tho)

    So yeah, my childhood/teens was a little complicated

    OP I wish you the best, and I'm rooting for you <3

  • Message me so we can talk, Im here for you no matter what. Do you have any other trusted family or friends you can stay with ? Oh and tell your dad it's a sin for parents to put anger in their children.

  • I'm sorry for what you're going through. Please try to express to him what you feel like and if he rejects your honesty or attacks you, call the police before something worse happens. This is psychological abuse and invasion of your privacy, you're not safe. Pushing and hitting is not acceptable either. I had some of these experiences too and this will probably take a toll on you when you grow older, if you don't act now. If there's another family member in the house, ask them for help to talk to him about your issues and how it hurts you and your relationship with him.

    But please please leave and go to a safe space, to a friend or someone you trust, if it goes on for long. And if it gets bigger, call the child protection services.

    You're strong, very valuable and you're no one's pawn to do what they want to. Your dad should advise you and care for you in a much different way. This isn't how love should be expressed.

    Like most people here, I'm also up for it if you need to talk <3

    ☠️ ☠️ ☠️ ☠️ ☠️ ☠️ ☠️


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