Do LGBT have a right to reject non-cis partners?

it's not transphobic to have a genital preference.

I don't think it's transphobic, but the terms "super gay" "super lesbian" "super straight" are... something.

Quote from godkingteshub

but it’s offending many transmen and transwomen who say it invalidates “transwomen are women”

It sounds rapey to get offended if someone says "no i don't want to sleep with you"

Just accept the no. Stop forcing someone to sleep with you.

i think trans should be able to piss in whatever bathroom they choose, piss on every record set in women's sport and piss on the right to choose of all these superheroes on twitter

Not dating them, no. Excluding the T from the LGBT rights, yes.

You can't help what you are attracted to, there is literally no point in trying to force it - it will never work and only make those trying to look like assholes.

I know that it must feel unfair and painful to trans folk to be turned down by some lesbians and gay people, but it is the same for lesbians and gays that fall for straight people too.. it's just a harsh reality that everyone isn't going to be attracted to you.

There are plenty of pan people and people that can feel attracted to many kinds of people and body parts don't matter, so I don't get why this issue is trying to be forced by some. It is not like we can all control how we feel. It is how it is.

yes, they do. you can't force them to sleep with someone who has genitalia of the opposite sex

People can reject who-ever they want, no one has to have sex or get involved with anyone.

That said, rejecting all trans people out of hand is transphobic. Dislike an individual person all you like, I'm a bi woman and I'm not attracted to all women or men. But rejecting someone BECAUSE they're trans is pretty much the definition of transphobia.

There's a history here: both lesbians and gay men have been pressured for decades to be interested in the other gender. "That's gay" as a saying (with the attendant pressure to perform interest in women even if you're gay), and lesbianism being either ignored or treated as something cute or a passing trend (with the assumption that the women will eventually be interested in men again). So lesbians and gay men can hear this so often that these hashtags are kind of a reaction. Is it a good reaction? No, because it's hurtful towards trans people. But it doesn't exist without reason.

Quote from godkingteshub

But it’s a slippery slope. On dating sites the most rejected female demographic is black women

It doesn’t hurt to be open minded

What does this even have to do with your own topic?

Quote from aristophenes

People can reject who-ever they want, no one has to have sex or get involved with anyone.

That said, rejecting all trans people out of hand is transphobic. Dislike an individual person all you like, I'm a bi woman and I'm not attracted to all women or men. But rejecting someone BECAUSE they're trans is pretty much the definition of transphobia.

I don't personally feel it is phobic of any kind to have or not have an attraction (that cannot be controlled) We don't call it homophobic for straight men or women to never once sleep with a person of the same sex. It is just understood that they don't feel attracted. I mean it's not like (some) lesbians and gays dislike trans people, they just may not have the desire to sleep with them because they retain secondary sex characteristics of the gender they don't like in sexual way at all and this is fine.

It's not a case of being open minded either. Again, you can't control what you are and aren't sexually attracted to. We all know that sexually is a spectrum, some people will be able to still feel attracted and some can't. It is really wrong and no use at all for anyone trying to shame or guilt those that can't.

Personal preference is a thing. Let people have that. I'm pansexual and have received hate from certain sides because I have a preference when it comes to a relationship. I date who I have feelings for, be that a transgender person or a cis person. It has nothing to do with being whatever phobic.

When you start trying to alienate from the LGBTQ+ movement, that's where we have a problem.

at least they could have chosen less cringy term. What are they? Superman wannabes?

Quote from godkingteshub

The hard right stance of personal preference above all else can create a lot of inequity. It's part of the problem why social mobility of black people has almost never existed because the others "choose" to not have black neighbors, "choose" to not go to colleges with a lot of black students, "choose" to not have black business partners, "choose" to not have contracts with black-owned businesses, "choose" to not have black people within their "inner circle", among other things

The #supergay, #superlesbian and #superstraight movements are creating a safe haven for those with transphobic ideations. Via the power of "personal preference". They could be normal and just keep their fucking mouths shut about their preferences like everyone else, but they CHOOSE to demarcate themselves a "special" sexual orientation, and that marginalizes transmen and transwomen

Being attracted to a certain race or whatever you call it isn't the same as being attracted to a specific genitalia or having a sexual preference. I think you are mixing up topics here. Racial preferences and sexual preferences are two different things and shouldn't be correlated, so you mentioning black women makes no sense at all.

Is it possible for racial preferences to be inherent? I don't think so, because when you're surrounded by a certain race, either because you live in a white neighborhood or live in a more "homogeneous" society it's kinda obvious that you'll learn and feel attracted to the prevalent race, due to racist propaganda or anything of the sort. I believe a person can learn how to be open-minded to other races once they start venturing into the world. However, being attracted to a certain genitalia is a completely different story. And guess what, trans women/men have their own sexual preferences as well, but I agree it can be disrespectful to call yourself "super gay".

Quote from godkingteshub

It doesn’t hurt to be open minded

I can't wait for you to start thirsting on male idols.

No I don’t think so. My daughter is gay and she had a trans partner who still had male parts and they were together nearly 12 months. She met her online and knew she was trans before they met. She didn’t care that she wasn’t born female. I don’t think it matters to LGBT people. As a parent of a gay teen, I don’t have an issue with trans people either. In fact, she also has a friend who’s trans and she’s really nice. People need to stop being ignorant when it comes to these people as self harm/suicide is higher with this group.

Quote from Elf_lover

No I don’t think so. My daughter is gay and she had a trans partner who still had male parts and they were together nearly 12 months. She met her online and knew she was trans before they met. She didn’t care that she wasn’t born female. I don’t think it matters to LGBT people. As a parent of a gay teen, I don’t have an issue with trans people either. In fact, she also has a friend who’s trans and she’s really nice. People need to stop being ignorant when it comes to these people as self harm/suicide is higher with this group.

"No I don’t think so"?

Can you hear what you're saying though? That some people don't have the right to reject sexual partners based on attraction. That is so wrong and dangerous on so many levels that it blows my mind.

Your daughter is one of the lucky people that can feel attracted beyond the external body parts and that is truly great and there are lots of people like her, but not everyone can. I am guessing you may be straight, what if there was a campaign by lesbians/gays saying you have to sleep with them or you're homophobic? (I don't know what you identify yourself as, but you get what I am saying)

I am a lesbian myself and no I don't want sexual relations with anyone with a penis or that retains characteristics of the male sex, if I could help that I would. If someone pressured or forced me that that would be non consensual and rape.

What people actually don't have the right to do is decide who others sleep with.

Quote from Escapethemaze

"No I don’t think so"?

Can you hear what you're saying though? That some people don't have the right to reject sexual partners based on attraction. That is so wrong and dangerous on so many levels that it blows my mind.

Your daughter is one of the lucky people that can feel attracted beyond the external body parts and that is truly great and there are lots of people like her, but not everyone can. I am guessing you may be straight, what if there was a campaign by lesbians/gays saying you have to sleep with them or you're homophobic? (I don't know what you identify yourself as, but you get what I am saying)

I am a lesbian myself and no I don't want sexual relations with anyone with a penis or that retains characteristics of the male sex, if I could help that I would. If someone pressured or forced me that that would be non consensual and rape.

What people actually don't have the right to do is decide who others sleep with.

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I am a straight female actually. I’m not saying that a gay person has to be attracted to someone with a different gender and I’m certainly not homophobic not with having a gay daughter. I’m only going off her experiences, I haven’t had any personal experiences with it myself. If I were gay, then I would perhaps only want to date someone of the same gender but I wouldn’t discriminate having a trans person as a friend. I’m quite open minded about these things but not being gay myself it’s hard to fully understand it. I’m trying to.

its not transphobic to not to want to have sexual relations with someone if they have a genital preference, theres nothing you can change about that (the person’s genital preference). [disclaimer: not having a sex change/bottom surgery does not invalidate your gender identity] however, IT IS transphobic to invalidate someone’s identity. all this being said i think this “super gay”/“super lesbian” movement is VERY transphobic. its just a bunch of terfs misgending trans women which does not sit right with me, and less about expressing their genitalia preference in a respectful manner. also the fact that theyre spreading ppl’s pictures without their consent is awful.

i’d like to add that, genitalia aside, if you were attracted to a trans person before finding out that theyre trans, and then you find out and youre suddenly not attracted, now THAT is transphobic.

anyways0DA7B1F4-DBD5-4428-81A1-B54AA7D3682F.jpeg

Quote from dummi

I think sexual preference is a thing. For example I'm a bi woman, I only like cis males and cis females. It shouldn't offend anyone because these are MY preferences, but going after trans people and calling them "not real women/not real men" is transphobic yes.

as a bisexual i dont understand this logic. i can understand gays, lesbians and heterosexuals having a genital preference in regards to gender. however, when you’re bisexual you are attracted to both sexes and all genders because bisexuality is not binary. so you saying that as a bisexual youre only attracted to cis people comes off as transphobic to me. im not attacking you, just genuinely confused?

if its only about hooking up than sure

i dont mind sleeping with anyone

wouldnt really date them tho

Quote from dummi

Hmm I know you're not attacking me it's okay, what I meant was: if I were to date a girl I'd like to date a cis girl, and if I were to date a guy I'd like to date a cis guy. Trans men are men, they just aren't cis men and trans women are women, they just aren't cis women. I am attracted to both sexes, when they are cis. However I can understand that it might sound confusing, reading my comment now I said "only" but really I don't know if I met an amazing trans person how I would reject them based on genitalia.

ok i understand where youre coming from. but to exclude trans people from your preference would be transphobic because youre bisexual. i understand that you havent had any experiences with a trans person so its understandable. but trans women are still women and trans men are still men so to reject them as a bisexual would not make sense to me. i dont think you can be bisexual and not be attracted to trans people. this isnt to say you have to have relations with the first trans person you meet (terfs/transphobes love to push this false narrative), but if you’re bisexual and you’re attracted to a trans person before knowing they’re trans, and then you find out, then suddenly not being attracted would be transphobic. because you would have no reason (being bisexual) to not be attracted unless it was transphobia. anyways i hope this was at least a bit insightful to you :).

Quote from Elf_lover

I am a straight female actually. I’m not saying that a gay person has to be attracted to someone with a different gender and I’m certainly not homophobic not with having a gay daughter. I’m only going off her experiences, I haven’t had any personal experiences with it myself. If I were gay, then I would perhaps only want to date someone of the same gender but I wouldn’t discriminate having a trans person as a friend. I’m quite open minded about these things but not being gay myself it’s hard to fully understand it. I’m trying to.

It's complicated because everyone is different when it comes to attraction, some people are more flexible than others but it is never a choice.

I would never reject friendship either, with anyone, as long as they are a good person.

I just implore people to think of something they aren't attracted to and imagine a movement dedicated to saying you're a bad person/wrong/something-phobic for this non attraction. It feels bad because it can't be helped. I've had enough of people (homophobes in my life) having an opinion on who I personally spend my life with or sleep with, now it comes from part of the community itself, it is never ending.

I will never identify myself as "supergay" or whatever that is. Just unnecessary and seems highly combative.

Quote from godkingteshub

You must have not heard of intersectionality, all oppressions are connected

Yeah no, you have no idea what you're talking about.

Quote from godkingteshub

You must have not heard of intersectionality, all oppressions are connected

yea no, a black person cannot hide that theyre black the way a queer person can hide their identity. both issues have different factors. youre comparing apples to oranges, it just doesnt work.

Quote from dokyeomhive

yea no, a black person cannot hide that theyre black the way a queer person can hide their identity. both issues have different factors. youre comparing apples to oranges, it just doesnt work.

Exactly, both POC and queer people are oppressed on a daily basis, but not by the same factors.

Quote from godkingteshub

hun, when black people are within the queer community everyone knows they are are black

so you proved my point?

Quote from godkingteshub

I could tell you a lot about the racism that exists within the LGBTQA+ community. But TheReS nO cORrElAtIoN according to some, so I won't now

I'm a LGBTQ+ person myself, so you don't have to inform me about anything. Either way, you're deviating from the original topic again, so bye.

Quote from dokyeomhive

ok i understand where youre coming from. but to exclude trans people from your preference would be transphobic because youre bisexual. i understand that you havent had any experiences with a trans person so its understandable. but trans women are still women and trans men are still men so to reject them as a bisexual would not make sense to me. i dont think you can be bisexual and not be attracted to trans people. this isnt to say you have to have relations with the first trans person you meet (terfs/transphobes love to push this false narrative), but if you’re bisexual and you’re attracted to a trans person before knowing they’re trans, and then you find out, then suddenly not being attracted would be transphobic. because you would have no reason (being bisexual) to not be attracted unless it was transphobia. anyways i hope this was at least a bit insightful to you :).

i'm bi too, and when i want to date a man i want a penis and when i want to date a woman i want a vagina lmao, it shouldn't be that hard. just bc you like both genders doesn't mean you're gonna be ok with either genitalia

also, genitals aside, dating someone trans is wayy different than dating someone cis because society doesn't quite accept trans people (at least where i live), so it would be so hard for me to deal with all of that. like i'm bi but i date men because i live in a conservative country and dating a woman would be so troublesome.

in conclusion, no, bisexual people not wanting to date trans people isn't transphobic

Quote from pussy-worship

i'm bi too, and when i want to date a man i want a penis and when i want to date a woman i want a vagina lmao, it shouldn't be that hard. just bc you like both genders doesn't mean you're gonna be ok with either genitalia

also, genitals aside, dating someone trans is wayy different than dating someone cis because society doesn't quite accept trans people (at least where i live), so it would be so hard for me to deal with all of that. like i'm bi but i date men because i live in a conservative country and dating a woman would be so troublesome.

in conclusion, no, bisexual people not wanting to date trans people isn't transphobic

but you like both genitalia so it really wouldnt make a difference. you wanting penis from a cis man and vagina from a cis woman but rejecting trans folk regardless if they had the operation or not is transphobic. you cant be bisexual and exclude trans folks bc there would be no other reason than transphobia. not wanting to date a trans person because of where you live is a totally different reason. so in conclusion yes it is transhphobic because bisexuality is not binary.

If they are not attracted to a trans person, then why would people want to force them to still date them? That just seems messed up to me.

Yes, they have the right to reject trans partners because sexual and romantic attraction is not a right. It is wrong for transgendered individuals to expect it/be entitled to it. What happened to being "born this way"? Frankly a lot of trans activists sound like conversion therapists wanting some lesbian women and gay men to "unlearn" their preferences and force themselves to like dick/vagina.

Quote from LastResort318

If they are not attracted to a trans person, then why would people want to force them to still date them? That just seems messed up to me.

Because transgendered people want validation of their gender identity even if it comes at the expense of other people's sexual identity and sexual boundaries. They try to couch it in terms like "asking" (i.e. pressurizing) lgb people to "question/examine" their "preferences" which ignores the fact that many gay&lesbian people have already done a lot of exploring and soul search to come to terms with their sexuality and it is not a "preference" for them. Some trans activists think you can just divorce sexual attraction from secondary and primary sexual characteristics. It is bizarre and completely unfair to lgb folks. They rarely do this to straight people.

You have the right to reject anyone that doesn't apply to what you want sexually. It's another thing to be transphobic and another to have a preference.