am i doing something wrong (rant?)

Quote from chaeyoungsluvr

ive ended up with my dad and step dad not talking to me 🤔

rant ig. u dont have to read it

basically my dad like never calls me and we never see eachother so hes out the question :"/ and well i was doing okay with my step dad until he kept nagging at me ?? idk how to explain but during my lowest time mentally i would like be going through a depressive episode and like not shower or do any personal hygiene??? ik it sounds gross (it is) but like i had no motivation to do anything and i felt terrible, and so my step dad would always yell at me comenting anytime i ate like "your eating again ?" also during this period of time i was trying to recover from my ed, so all these things were really hurtful so i finally got sick and told him like what he was saying was like making me upset but he just ended up yelling at me and saying "so you dont want me to talk to you ever again?!" and thats like the exact opposite of what i wanted, like i wanted him to talk to me instead of just nagging at me but he got mad and now we havent talked in a little over a month and now im just sad idk, i just want a father figure, i wish that i had a happy family where i didnt have to worry about when or how to talk to my dad, where i didnt have to doubt them, i dont know, just a little rant, i feel like mayb its just im not worthy of a father there for me

he just doesn’t know how awesome you are

oh idk what to say family sucks sometimes i swear and he's the father figure, why is he not talking to you for over month , that's so shitty ( will expect the same from my dad if i ever fuck up tho)

maybe try once, if u feel like you can't express yourself accuratly through words, write him or both a message where u rant and express how u feel. Be the one to take the first step, it's hard but still do through writing , if u can't confront in person and then u will see how it goes. express your feelings, how you felt down and without motivation and all.

EDIT: And no you're definitely worth it, just bc someone is family doesn't mean they're right. family fucks up too.

Quote from chaeyoungsluvr

ive ended up with my dad and step dad not talking to me 🤔

rant ig. u dont have to read it

basically my dad like never calls me and we never see eachother so hes out the question :"/ and well i was doing okay with my step dad until he kept nagging at me ?? idk how to explain but during my lowest time mentally i would like be going through a depressive episode and like not shower or do any personal hygiene??? ik it sounds gross (it is) but like i had no motivation to do anything and i felt terrible, and so my step dad would always yell at me comenting anytime i ate like "your eating again ?" also during this period of time i was trying to recover from my ed, so all these things were really hurtful so i finally got sick and told him like what he was saying was like making me upset but he just ended up yelling at me and saying "so you dont want me to talk to you ever again?!" and thats like the exact opposite of what i wanted, like i wanted him to talk to me instead of just nagging at me but he got mad and now we havent talked in a little over a month and now im just sad idk, i just want a father figure, i wish that i had a happy family where i didnt have to worry about when or how to talk to my dad, where i didnt have to doubt them, i dont know, just a little rant, i feel like mayb its just im not worthy of a father there for me

It sucks that your step father is taking his anger out by ignoring you.

I mean he could have had a civil talk with you about what you were going through, which could have led him to understand better about why you were feeling the way you were feeling.

I know that this may sound dumb or what not, but I feel as if he shows that he cares about you just a little differently, he may just want to show that he cares about your well being. I mean my father does this with me and my brothers, but I know that he just wants us to take better care of ourselves.

Filling in a family figure is something that I am not able to do, but I can be a friend that will always be here for you

Trust me, you are worthy of love, 100%

I get, it, I've had depressive episodes like that, and family members didn't understand it.

This is just my point of view. You have to take family members from where they are. Some may not be as far along as you'd like, but you take them from where they are. You try to educate, when you can. When you can't you do your best to love you and the rest of the world can f-off. Sometimes family members have their own past that you don't know about, or are going through their own issues. So do your best to be nice to yourself, because that's the most important, and be generous towards others when you can. You never know what sort of stuff they've been through too, so when someone is seemingly strict or cruel towards you, tell yourself "this person has some underlying crap, and I don't know what it is." Feel empathetic instead of feeling hurt, it's a much nicer feeling.

My heart goes out to you. I hope you will get the chance to talk to the father that is in your life about all that is going on so he can better understand. If it doesn't work out, I wonder if you have a "Big brother/big sister" mentor program in your area?

I can't imagine having family issue, because they are people who is the most close to me. I feel sorry for you