Do you guys believe that soulmates exist?

yes but the question is how does one know that the other person is one's soulmate..

one cannot meet every person in the world and thus how does one know that the other person who is suppose to be the soulmate is in fact the one...

with over 7 billion people one might argue that there exists a person out there who is "more soulmate" than the person who you are claiming is your soulmate

I do

When both are on enlightment path, it'll be easy for them to coexist

Then it's like soulmates, in practice

Quote from selfmate

yes but the question is how does one know that the other person is one's soulmate..

one cannot meet every person in the world and thus how does one know that the other person who is suppose to be the soulmate is in fact the one...

with over 7 billion people one might argue that there exists a person out there who is "more soulmate" than the person who you are claiming is your soulmate

Intuition usually does the job

But mistakes happen a lot

Quote from Jasque-O-Part2

I do

When both are on enlightment path, it'll be easy for them to coexist

Then it's like soulmates, in practice

Intuition usually does the job

But mistakes happen a lot

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but if one is mistaken then does that mean the person was not a soulmate in the first place and thus one's intuition is wrong???

and if one can be mistaken once and one's intuition wrong then surely one can be mistaken again?

I did, until I didnt.

Realised it quite late, wish I wasn't that naive but yeah I am glad I am past that stage lol

Quote from selfmate

but if one is mistaken then does that mean the person was not a soulmate in the first place and thus one's intuition is wrong???

and if one can be mistaken once and one's intuition wrong then surely one can be mistaken again?

That's why I said mistakes can happen

One can think the other is a soulmate, be right, but change their minds and start to think that is wrong.

etc there are at least 8 or more possibilities if we keep it simple, I'm not very good with numbers lol

Quote from Jasque-O-Part2

That's why I said mistakes can happen

One can think the other is a soulmate, be right, but change their minds and start to think that is wrong.

etc there are at least 8 or more possibilities if we keep it simple, I'm not very good with numbers lol

but would that make it no longer a soulmate since if you start to think you are wrong then maybe you were wrong in the first place and they weren't a soulmate at all but rather just a compatible person????? lol

Quote from selfmate

but would that make it no longer a soulmate since if you start to think you are wrong then maybe you were wrong in the first place and they weren't a soulmate at all but rather just a compatible person????? lol

I think it doesn't make a difference, because I believe it's not like one person has one half and that person is their half and is somewhere that can be in another continent

It's more like a constant state that the person achieves, the person becomes the soulmate and stays like that forever because their connection is that strong

Things can change ofc, humans are complex

Quote from Jasque-O-Part2

I think it doesn't make a difference, because I believe it's not like one person has one half and that person is their half and is somewhere that can be in another continent

It's more like a constant state that the person achieves, the person becomes the soulmate and stays like that forever because their connection is that strong

Things can change ofc, humans are complex

once a soulmate always a soulmate?

Quote from selfmate

once a soulmate always a soulmate?

I do think so

Maybe even in afterlife if it's a thing

Quote from Jasque-O-Part2

I do think so

Maybe even in afterlife if it's a thing

but didn't you say that one could be mistaken????

or are you saying there is various degrees of soulmatedness (that is so not a word)

and one can have "weak" and "strong" soulmates???

Quote from selfmate

but would that make it no longer a soulmate since if you start to think you are wrong then maybe you were wrong in the first place and they weren't a soulmate at all but rather just a compatible person????? lol

"Rather just a fun but incompatible person" is the right way to describe such person because if they were compatible you wouldn't be questioning it.

Its kinda like Your perception of them vs their actual reality. YOU keep thinking they are soul mate, refuse to see their flaws as flaws and keep giving them second chances. You keep building up your house of lies only to see it collapse because the foundation was unreal to begin with.

Quote from selfmate

but didn't you say that one could be mistaken????

or are you saying there is various degrees of soulmatedness (that is so not a word)

and one can have "weak" and "strong" soulmates???

Kinda like that, I don't agree with the usual concept

I think there's only one soulmate but the person can't be a soulmate to someone they'll never meet

But once they know someone that fits, they'll know it

So yeah, you could say there are strong and weak soulmates, because in practice it'd be like that.

Because if both are on a path to enlightment, they'd eventually reach a state of "soulmate" eventually, unless they break up before that.

Quote from LilacGirl

"Rather just a fun but incompatible person" is the right way to describe such person because if they were compatible you wouldn't be questioning it.

Its kinda like Your perception of them vs their actual reality. YOU keep thinking they are soul mate, refuse to see their flaws as flaws and keep giving them second chances. You keep building up your house of lies only to see it collapse because the foundation was unreal to begin with.

That usually happens when the person is on a loop of two cognitive functions

People will warn them of the reality but they won't accept anything that doesn't fit a narrative

Could be even something more clinical like paranoia, or something else

Quote from LilacGirl

"Rather just a fun but incompatible person" is the right way to describe such person because if they were compatible you wouldn't be questioning it.

Its kinda like Your perception of them vs their actual reality. YOU keep thinking they are soul mate, refuse to see their flaws as flaws and keep giving them second chances. You keep building up your house of lies only to see it collapse because the foundation was unreal to begin with.

but you and that person could be compatible and both of you truly believe the other is a soulmate at that point in time...

however as one grows older or circumstances change one might realise that one made a mistake and no longer believe that the other person is their soulmate

and thus does that mean they were truly your soulmate to begin with OR just a compatible person???? (does that make sense?) or maybe one can have multiple soulmates like jasques said??

Quote from selfmate

but you and that person could be compatible and both of you truly believe the other is a soulmate at that point in time...

however as one grows older or circumstances change one might realise that one made a mistake and no longer believe that the other person is their soulmate

and thus does that mean they were truly your soulmate to begin with OR just a compatible person???? (does that make sense?) or maybe one can have multiple soulmates like jasques said??

I think multiple soulmates would eventually happen if we were allowed to marry multiple people lol

I think it's not very probable that it happens in countries that allow it though, but that's another story

Quote from Jasque-O-Part2

Kinda like that, I don't agree with the usual concept

I think there's only one soulmate but the person can't be a soulmate to someone they'll never meet

But once they know someone that fits, they'll know it

So yeah, you could say there are strong and weak soulmates, because in practice it'd be like that.

Because if both are on a path to enlightment, they'd eventually reach a state of "soulmate" eventually, unless they break up before that.

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then how does a soulmate arise in the first place my friend...cos right now if there's no soulmate for jasques and only if you meet do you become soulmates??? is that not just "deus ex machina" that whoever you end up with becomes your soulmate?

but given your previous statement that one can make mistakes...how do you rectify that with there is only one soulmate?

since one can find someone believing they are the soulmate but then fall out of love/soulmatedness with that person and find someone else claiming the new person to be their soulmate

but isn't that the issue that some people will claim yeap they are the one they are the soulmate only for when circumstances change or they grow up and suddenly they are no longer in love/compatible or whatever then does that mean they are no longer soulmates from that point OR could one claim that they were never therefore soulmates to begin with?

or unless one is claiming that one could be soulmates with another for a certain period of time and being soulmates is not everlasting

Quote from Jasque-O-Part2

I think multiple soulmates would eventually happen if we were allowed to marry multiple people lol

I think it's not very probable that it happens in countries that allow it though, but that's another story

I'm not referring to marriage at the same time but second/third etc etc marriages (or relationships if they don't legally marry)

lets say you're young and carefree teenager and truly believe your first bf to be your soulmate and puppy love and all that but then they move for college and out of sight out of mind...

maybe you then find and meet a person and fall in love believing this person to be your soulmate and marry and have kids only to find your partner cheated on you ...

maybe then you are middle age and find another partner who you believe is now your soulmate and enter a blended family only eventually to discover your partner has cancer and terminal...

then in your old age you are lonely and seek companionship and find another soulmate and you happen to pass away before they do...

how many soulmates did one have? are they soulmates at all...hmmm

Quote from Jasque-O-Part2

That usually happens when the person is on a loop of two cognitive functions

People will warn them of the reality but they won't accept anything that doesn't fit a narrative

Could be even something more clinical like paranoia, or something else

True. Love really is blind I guess. Or maybe just inexperienced.

Your narrative is "Xyz is an amazing person" because you see the good in people but only with time will you learn that there is an equal amount of bad in people too and you should either be willing to accept it or leave them behind. Which you will do will definitely depends on what your moral compass is willing to give a pass to.

Quote from selfmate

I'm not referring to marriage at the same time but second/third etc etc marriages (or relationships if they don't legally marry)

lets say you're young and carefree teenager and truly believe your first bf to be your soulmate and puppy love and all that but then they move for college and out of sight out of mind...

maybe you then find and meet a person and fall in love believing this person to be your soulmate and marry and have kids only to find your partner cheated on you ...

maybe then you are middle age and find another partner who you believe is now your soulmate and enter a blended family only eventually to discover your partner has cancer and terminal...

then in your old age you are lonely and seek companionship and find another soulmate and you happen to pass away before they do...

how many soulmates did one have? are they soulmates at all...hmmm

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lol that's very specific

I'd say the person would be very lucky if that happens

Or even more crazy, they induce other people to enter the path to enlightment together

Anyway it's a very rare thing to happen

Quote from selfmate

but you and that person could be compatible and both of you truly believe the other is a soulmate at that point in time...

however as one grows older or circumstances change one might realise that one made a mistake and no longer believe that the other person is their soulmate

and thus does that mean they were truly your soulmate to begin with OR just a compatible person???? (does that make sense?) or maybe one can have multiple soulmates like jasques said??

that's just maturity at play and people change, maybe each stage of your maturity has a different compatible person and someone who clicks with all your stages of maturity is the soul mate and rest just "compatible person"

Quote from LilacGirl

True. Love really is blind I guess. Or maybe just inexperienced.

Your narrative is "Xyz is an amazing person" because you see the good in people but only with time will you learn that there is an equal amount of bad in people too and you should either be willing to accept it or leave them behind. Which you will do will definitely depends on what your moral compass is willing to give a pass to.

Yeah, I'm thinking more of serious relationships, even if not married the goal would be to be together for many years

To reach a point where you meet someone and know they are "the one"... it needs a lot of maturity on both parts.

Quote from LilacGirl

that's just maturity at play and people change, maybe each stage of your maturity has a different compatible person and someone who clicks with all your stages of maturity is the soul mate and rest just "compatible person"

lol you just read my mind, that's what i meant now

Quote from Jasque-O-Part2

lol that's very specific

I'd say the person would be very lucky if that happens

Or even more crazy, they induce other people to enter the path to enlightment together

Anyway it's a very rare thing to happen

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really? like 1/3 to 1/2 of all of marriages end in divorce so falling out of love and marriage is not that uncommon...

Quote from selfmate

really? like 1/3 to 1/2 of all of marriages end in divorce so falling out of love and marriage is not that uncommon...

What is rare is jump from one marriage to other and all of them be soulmates lol

Or all of those be mature people

But I'm a little pessimistic

Quote from LilacGirl

that's just maturity at play and people change, maybe each stage of your maturity has a different compatible person and someone who clicks with all your stages of maturity is the soul mate and rest just "compatible person"

but one doesn't know that before the fact...

are you saying then that however the person ends up and stays ended with is the soulmate and therefore the rest is compatible person?

does that mean also mean or imply that if every person before the last is not a soulmate then technically one's soulmate is still out there waiting to be found/discovered/met...since all it takes is another more compatible person and the previous person goes from soulmate status to mere compatible lol

Quote from selfmate

but one doesn't know that before the fact...

are you saying then that however the person ends up and stays ended with is the soulmate and therefore the rest is compatible person?

does that mean also mean or imply that if every person before the last is not a soulmate then technically one's soulmate is still out there waiting to be found/discovered/met...since all it takes is another more compatible person and the previous person goes from soulmate status to mere compatible lol

I don't think the previous necessarily stops being soulmate, like in the case they died from cancer.

In the case the person moved away...

idk, they can still have feelings, I think that is one thing that happens a lot

Quote from Jasque-O-Part2

What is rare is jump from one marriage to other and all of them be soulmates lol

Or all of those be mature people

But I'm a little pessimistic

mature people can still make mistakes...and as I always say hindsight is 20/20 right?

no one enters the relationship believing it can fail lol (or at least I hope not)

and thus when it comes to marriage no one believes their marriage will fail but rather their relationships is perfect and they've met the love of their life and soulmates etc etc...I mean you use the word mature but it's only mature in hindsight

don't worry my friend I'm very much a realist too!!! lol

Quote from selfmate

mature people can still make mistakes...and as I always say hindsight is 20/20 right?

no one enters the relationship believing it can fail lol (or at least I hope not)

and thus when it comes to marriage no one believes their marriage will fail but rather their relationships is perfect and they've met the love of their life and soulmates etc etc...I mean you use the word mature but it's only mature in hindsight

don't worry my friend I'm very much a realist too!!! lol

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Yeah, but when both are mature they will value the relationship more

But yeah, there are marriages that end after 20 or more years together and not necessarily because of cheating

Sometimes the love just fades (it was like that with my ex gf after 4-5 years)

Quote from Jasque-O-Part2

I don't think the previous necessarily stops being soulmate, like in the case they died from cancer.

In the case the person moved away...

idk, they can still have feelings, I think that is one thing that happens a lot

but did you not previously claim there to be only one soulmate my friend? lol

and thus if they are all soulmates to some degree then does that not mean there are no soulmates at all and every relationship is just some degree of soulmatedness...

that even a one night stand for example could theoretically be just on the bottom end of the soulmate spectrum? lol

and in the end judging one's relationships one could say yeap person A was this level of soulmatedness and person B was higher and person C was lower etc etc

Quote from Jasque-O-Part2

Yeah, but when both are mature they will value the relationship more

But yeah, there are marriages that end after 20 or more years together and not necessarily because of cheating

Sometimes the love just fades (it was like that with my ex gf after 4-5 years)

of course absolutely but the question is then...was that person a soulmate:

1. to begin with; or

2. at all; or

3. just a compatible person lol

completely understandable my friend and thus I ask did you think she was the one during the relationship?

Quote from selfmate

but did you not previously claim there to be only one soulmate my friend? lol

and thus if they are all soulmates to some degree then does that not mean there are no soulmates at all and every relationship is just some degree of soulmatedness...

that even a one night stand for example could theoretically be just on the bottom end of the soulmate spectrum? lol

and in the end judging one's relationships one could say yeap person A was this level of soulmatedness and person B was higher and person C was lower etc etc

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I think you're overthinking a little lol

What I meant is that in the present there can only be one soulmate...

For example if someone is dating someone but still loves the person that was their real soulmate

Can their current partner be a soulmate too? I think that'd be very weird.

If the other one is dead maybe... but what even is after life? lol

Quote from Jasque-O-Part2

I think you're overthinking a little lol

What I meant is that in the present there can only be one soulmate...

For example if someone is dating someone but still loves the person that was their real soulmate

Can their current partner be a soulmate too? I think that'd be very weird.

If the other one is dead maybe... but what even is after life? lol

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I guess I'm in the theoretical mood tonight!!! lol

sorry if I was sounding judgy and pedantic!!!

Quote from selfmate

of course absolutely but the question is then...was that person a soulmate:

1. to begin with; or

2. at all; or

3. just a compatible person lol

completely understandable my friend and thus I ask did you think she was the one during the relationship?

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Both are possible

In 20 years a lot change, so something happened that made them see that the relationship wasn't working anymore

In my case she lived a little far and we both weren't interested in marriage, so at some point it was like it didn't make sense to stay together

But during the relationship we did believe we were soulmates and we'd be together till the end, till we didn't lol

I think I'm very different now compared to when I started with her.

She also helped me to change a lot back then too, for the better.

We just failed to improve our self esteems enough I think.

Quote from Jasque-O-Part2

Both are possible

In 20 years a lot change, so something happened that made them see that the relationship wasn't working anymore

In my case she lived a little far and we both weren't interested in marriage, so at some point it was like it didn't make sense to stay together

But during the relationship we did believe we were soulmates and we'd be together till the end, till we didn't lol

I think I'm very different now compared to when I started with her.

She also helped me to change a lot back then too, for the better.

We just failed to improve our self esteems enough I think.

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and if you were to find another compatible partner

would you say you then had two soulmates in your life?

Quote from selfmate

I guess I'm in the theoretical mood tonight!!! lol

sorry if I was sounding judgy and pedantic!!!

No problem, you were just being socratic lol

Quote from selfmate

and if you were to find another compatible partner

would you say you then had two soulmates in your life?

idk... Maybe I wasn't prepared back then, so who knows?

I personally consider that the past is in the past lol

Quote from Jasque-O-Part2

No problem, you were just being socratic lol

Aristotle sunbaenim for me!!!

timestamped at 10.47

I think that only one soulmate exists for everyone.

No, it doesn't exist.