Aespa - Cardboard cutouts could perform better. A group made up of camera angles and Hatsune Miki ripoffs, whose best song is a recycled EDM drop from a film franchise that's gone on for 3 films too long. The towering achievement is their album sales which are currently filling up the back of the landfill in Shenzen. The icing on this terrible cake is the nepotism baby whose raps are so boring she should start a mining company. Their greatest friend is the "play" button whenever they perform.
IVE - Starship's Izone 2.0 repackage, talented in snatching songs from Sunmi and stumbling into success. Lead by 2 ex-rigged group members whose public personas are so robotic and stilted it's like Windows Vista is permanently booting up in ther minds. Great scientists around the world are currently working together to try and remember the other 4 members because no-one recalls their names. Countdown for them to end up the same way as Miss A has already begun.
Itzy - Cult-master JYP's crowning achievement of lots of noise with little to show for it. Literally. Have yet to meet a musical note that couldn't be talk-rapped and shouted instead of sung. Lyrics and concepts so chidlish it makes Nikelodeon look like NPR. In all likelihood will disband in 1-2 years when someone manages to sneak in and turn off the auto-zoom function on the video camera taping their dances. Kpop equivalent of shaky cam.
Le Sserafim - One airbrush filter or instagram filter away from being vanished, literally. A group so manufactured, they make the other groups on this list look like underground garage punk bands. Medical physicians have hailed their soporific powers, being so boring and mind-numbing, as a breakthrough in treating anxiety and sleep disorders. Also with 2 ex-rigged group members, one being the Izone member everyone forgot about for 3 years, and the other whose better of being a twitch streamer then an Idol.
Enhypen - A collection of frat boys who appear to hate each other. Songs which have 14 composers yet someone ended being a brew of an Ableton sampler set, vocals recorded through a Fisher Price Walkie-Talkie, and then transmitted by 1960's radio technology from the moon. In a Recent UN forum, it was discussed about a worldwide campaign to reach out to Enhypen fans, and get them they help they need to move on to a better group.
Nmixx - Currently to this day, it's said a person can, when in the right area and listening carefully, hear a whisper on the wind - "O.O actually isn't that bad, they're so talented". Currently the most "talented" member is someone who couldn't make the cut into Itzy, which tells you all you need to know about this groups future success. Will be an interesting footnote in a few years time, when some old kpop stan goes "hey do you remember Nmixx" to someone else, and they just throw their heads back and laugh.
SKZ - Cmon, let's be honest. In no way can this formless mass of rehashing tired old song genres and drop beats be serious. Just a cheeky prank played by some Australians I think. Getting the latest royalty-free samples and hitting shuffle isn't making music. Contain stans more toxic then nuclear waste, who tragically, had mass psychosis event when their fabled "top rapper" bombed out in the first round of SMTM. The copium required to justify that is earth's latest source of free, renewable energy.
TXT - Another group of 5 who's vocals also sound like transmissions from the moon. Alternating between a wealth of concepts all sourced from Harry Potter Fanfiction written in 2006, their MVs and the groups charisma are so forgettable, it's rumoured that's what the MiB neuralyzer plays to erase people's memory. Mis-steps in the past include their attempts to break into the Furry market with "Cat and Dog".
Treasure - A YG classic, who's work at digitally erasing hiatus members from videos and images would make Stalin proud. Current album titles appear to be giving instructions on how to walk, which is indicative of the level of creativity surrounding this group. Burned through Blackpink's money so much BP had to come back 2 years ahead of schedule. Naming one member of Treasure is currently the million dollar question on "Who wants to be a millionaire".
