I wake up like this 
and my bf says something dirty 
my dogs just like 
and my cats just like 
my bf is like 
and I'm like 
so I go to the bathroom 
and then eat 
and bf's just watching me like 
and I go 
and my bff is like 
"I can leave if you want" 
and I say holy crap no 
I'm innocent 
and bf's like 
I say shut up you fluffyhead you 
and my bf goes 
and I go 
love ya tho 
and bff is like 
what did I just see 
and I know what she's thinking 
how dare thee 
why can't you be normal 
why are you guys like this 
and bf is like gotcha 
and bff is like yeah boi 
don't forget who's boss 
and they are both thinking unholy things 
so I go bye bye 
but my friend is like 
Imma go get her 
so she follows me 
and is like come back you weirdo 
and I go 
luv ya but no 
THE END
Based on a true story
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