Im feeling bad abt something that happened at work and i need to talk

  • Theres someone i like at work, we're not exactly friends but we get along well and i like her (NOT romantically).

    This person is really nice to me but shes a bit unresponsible and i always hear people gossiping about her and i try to warn her about the things she do without mentioning anyone, bc I feel guilty that i get along with her and most of the time i stay silent when i hear people talking about her, cause most of the time theres basis. Which is why i try to compensate by warning her about these things so i can help her with it.

    Yesterday ppl were talking about her schedule. Bc she always arrive late and is the first to leave and other ppl notice that, plus she have the best shift which is the morning. The girls from afternoon shift notice and also the other girl from morning shift who always arrive on time and pay her time when she arrives late.

    I heard their complaints, they even said they were gonna talk to boss and told them i was gonna talk to her. Bc it happens that I AM boss's right hand at work so technically i should be the one telling them this but since i like her i tend to turn a blind eye (not just for her but to others too) which i know its a terrible thing but i hate ratting out ppl, i did it last year and i hated it, though i know it comes with the job..

    It was probably the way i told her, i thought she would understand and pay more attention to her time but she took it too personally, i didnt told her who told me (everyone talks about it) but she wanted to question the other girls and start a fight.

    Now im really upset because i realized i shouldve stayed quiet and not make issues bigger than it already is.

    I am more particularly upset bc i feel like the bad guy either way in this situation.

    Cause if i had stayed quiet none of this would have happened.

    Now i feel like i gossip too much and also dont do my job right.

    I feel like such an idiot for trying to help her. In all this situation i think i am the one who got the short end of the stick and i feel like i probably deserve it for being so naive.

    narcissistic, my god i love it

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  • you had good intentions not the right execution


    idk what you mean by the boss's right hand, but you should have never taken the responsibility of trying to correct this coworkers behavior.

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  • Co-workers are right to be upset in this situation, and it honestly isn't your responsibility to correct that employees behavior.

    Everyone else seems to be pulling their weight, so why can't she? It's honestly not that difficult to show up to work on time, and if this is a constant trait of hers it's more than likely that it's because she doesn't care enough. No one should have to deal with that.

  • Sometimes, when you tell someone something bad about themselves, they usually will resent you or try to punish you and will from then on associate you with the message. Instead of thinking of the coworkers who actually are talking crap about her, she'll think about you.


    There's a phrase "don't shoot the messenger" for a reason.


    Bear in mind, unsolicited advice is generally a means to control or criticize the person you're giving advice to.


    It's not something you can control, and like DrewB said earlier, it's not your responsibility. It's hers.


    You may have had good intentions but when she is or isn't fired where will you be? On the one hand, you're the snitch at the office and on the other hand, you're acting like you're a manager showing favoritism.

  • The ones who keep gossiping need to either speak up or shut up.


    Of course they're right when they say that the other colleague should arrive on time to start her shift, but if she doesn't and it bothers them, they should talk to her directly instead of gossiping behind her back. She's not psychic.


    But they probably won't.

    I know people like that and the moment whoever they've been complaining about hears about it from somebody else and confronts them, they'll either pretend to be completely clueless, suddenly say that it's doesn't really bother them that much afterall, or worse, claim that you were exaggerating, so that you end up being the arsehole.


    Seriously, never get involved in this kind of office/workplace drama.

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