Growing up, do you think your parents trauma dumped on you, or ranted about or involved you I'm their grown up problems too much?

  • Growing up, do you think your parents trauma dumped on you, or ranted about or involved you I'm their grown up problems too much?


    Like they would repeatedly tell the stories of the hardships they faced growing up to you. Or just rant about their bad day at work to you nonstop. Or constantly remind you of the money problem or any other grow up problems?

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  • Lulu_Key

    Changed the title of the thread from “Growing up, do you think your parents trauma dumped on you, or ranted about or involved you I'm theor grown up problems too much?” to “Growing up, do you think your parents trauma dumped on you, or ranted about or involved you I'm their grown up problems too much?”.
  • Not really, but that does sound awful.

    One of my friends, her mom daily reminds her that she had to suffer 24h of labor pains bc of her. Due to her mom constant reminder and blaming her for the pain, my friend hates kid and gags at the idea of ever being pregnant.


    I don't blame her

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  • One of my friends, her mom daily reminds her that she had to suffer 24h of labor pains bc of her. Due to her mom constant reminder and blaming her for the pain, my friend hates kid and gags at the idea of ever being pregnant.


    I don't blame her

    Yikes. That is so messed up. It's not her fault! Yes, I'm sure it was hard for her mom, but it's no one's fault and complaining about it sure won't fix it.


    I don't blame her either.

  • Yikes. That is so messed up. It's not her fault! Yes, I'm sure it was hard for her mom, but it's no one's fault and complaining about it sure won't fix it.


    I don't blame her either.

    It's not just complaining


    She is trying to guilt her to do her bidding for 25 years of her life now


    So tiring

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  • no, opposite. my parents have been through a lot, but they never wanted to discuss it with me. i think trauma dumping to your children is harmful, but i also wish they were willing to tell me more than they have, because i've never felt like sharing anything with them in return as a consequence.

  • no, opposite. my parents have been through a lot, but they never wanted to discuss it with me. i think trauma dumping to your children is harmful, but i also wish they were willing to tell me more than they have, because i've never felt like sharing anything with them in return as a consequence.

    my parents were not the worst but there were definitely things I didn't need to know

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  • One of my friends, her mom daily reminds her that she had to suffer 24h of labor pains bc of her. Due to her mom constant reminder and blaming her for the pain, my friend hates kid and gags at the idea of ever being pregnant.


    I don't blame her

    daily? wtf :pepe-life-support: my mom brings it up when we fight, but using it against her is so shitty.

    why do people even have kids if they don't want to endure the negative sides of it :pepe-back-away:

  • daily? wtf :pepe-life-support: my mom brings it up when we fight, but using it against her is so shitty.

    why do people even have kids if they don't want to endure the negative sides of it :pepe-back-away:

    people have kids for selfish reasons

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  • No, my parents always lived beyond their means when it came to their kids. They went without if it meant we could have plenty. I actually never knew how dire their financial situation was until much later in life - they never told any of us. I knew we weren't rich or anything, but they literally never saved anything - sent us to the best schools (yes we were on scholarships, but it's still not cheap even after aid) and because we were in school with rich kids, then spent it on the stupid things we, their children, thought we needed. I owe them so much.


    Some person are so selfish, but not mine.

  • No, my parents did not do that. They were the best parents one could ever have and I had a very happy childhood. I miss my late parents very much and their passing is something I will never get over.

  • Not my parents but my grandparents.

    They were born shortly after the war and regularly told me about how they grew up in destroyed houses with no electricity or running water, were constantly starving, had to steal to survive and brushed their teeth with tree branches that they would chew on to soften them into something akin to a brush.

    I'm glad they told me, though. Hearing first hand accounts of the aftermath of a war made me appreciate the importance of maintaining peace and lending aid to refugees who are escaping similar horrors today. Far too many people lack empathy because they lack that understanding you gain when you witness someone break down and cry because of what they endured as a child more than 60 years ago.

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    reminds me of a poem


    They fuck you up, your mum and dad.

    They may not mean to, but they do.

    They fill you with the faults they had

    And add some extra, just for you.


    But they were fucked up in their turn

    By fools in old-style hats and coats,

    Who half the time were soppy-stern

    And half at one another’s throats.


    Man hands on misery to man.

    It deepens like a coastal shelf.

    Get out as early as you can,

    And don’t have any kids yourself.


    This be the verse by Philip Larkin

  • greatest wisdom

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  • do you think you'd ever want to have a child my friend?

    no


    I want to live free

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  • that's cool I can respect that

    I know that if I ever have a kid, I would put whats best for them ahead of whats best for me


    and I dont wanna live like that. Just not for me

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