I know there have been threads similar to this one recently, so I'm sorry for posting another one but I just really needed to get this out there. I'm not feeling well at all lately. For the past month or so it's gradually become more and more difficult to just do things. I feel empty and dull all the time. I keep crying and getting panic or anger attacks spontaneously. Activites that used to help me calm down or detach temporarily don't make me happy anymore. Eating makes me sad. Drawing makes me sad. Writing on my journal is hard. Watching TV is hard. I just sit around doing nothing, wandering around the house all day
I've been going to therapy for more than two years now and everything had been going well but for the past months the person I'm seeing hasn't helped me get rid of my attacks or my thoughts. Everything is resurfacing. I'm getting suicidal thoughts again when I thought I'd gotten rid of that chapter already. My mom isn't here and I'm not comfortable resorting to my dad for emotional help since he's simply bad at it
My bestest friend is in Argentina, and the other close friends I made here drifted away.
I feel ugly inside and out but in an obessive way. I have literally broken down and had panic attacks by looking at myself in the mirror because I just hate the way I look. And I feel like I'll just look the same even if I lose weight, so I have no motivation to become lighter or to exercise
Idk really why I'm saying all this because none of you or therapists or whatever, but I just needed to get this off my chest (I'm too lazy to grab a pen tbh)
