Did you change from your teenager years?

This is influenced by the Garam case ofc, but I was wondering how many of you changed from your teenage years. The reason I got curious is because this case made me reflect a little bit about the people I've met in school and even myself... there were bullies in my school and I realized that if I ever met them again I would presume they still have the same nasty personality they had in the past, but, at the same time, isn't this unfair? I know I've changed a lot, I wasn't horrible per se but I was very unfriendly towards people and judgy, now I'm very different from that.

I'm asking the forum because I'd like to hear you guys experiences and if that is/isn't common, I'm not talking about Garam I'm just influenced by the case btw.. since this is anon I hope people can express themselves freely

there's a difference between being mean and being a straight up violent bully. Teenagers or not, doesn't excuse violent bully past especially if you never apologised and owned up to your actions.

Now that I'm done with hs, i can answer a question like this. I'm not really a bully or some thug but i have made fun of people i didn't like, even if they had done nothing to trigger my behavior. I guess I'm still the same person i was and will still "bully" these kids if i meet them by chance wherever.

Try to not think from the bully's side but from the victim's.

"Hey I know you got bullied but that was when you were a kid so it doesn't really count. Your bully was young and apologized so get over it" is basically what you're saying.

Quote from Fried Mint & Mustard Mutton (920)

Try to not think from the bully's side but from the victim's.

"Hey I know you got bullied but that was when you were a kid so it doesn't really count. Your bully was young and apologized so get over it" is basically what you're saying.

actually Garam hasn't even apologized or admitted to it

Quote from Fried Mint & Mustard Mutton (920)

Try to not think from the bully's side but from the victim's.

"Hey I know you got bullied but that was when you were a kid so it doesn't really count. Your bully was young and apologized so get over it" is basically what you're saying.

I'm sorry if my message wasn't conceived properly but that's not what I'm saying. I'm not asking victims to get over their bullies, I even said that if I met a bully from HS or middle school I'd expect them to be the same... I'm talking about people personal experiences.

I didn't hang with great people either. I don't even know whether they were bullies or not, but something about them was really off.

My bestfriend back in highschool dated this newcomer who's really popular. While she was okay, I can tell her bf and his friends weren't that great people. Within a few months of her relationship, she and her bf were kicked out of school. Everyone in the gang expect me were given heavy counselling. While my teachers informed everyone in school that the two were kicked out bc of the relationship, I still wonder if there's much more to it. Even the most strict school in the city wouldn't take such an extreme step.

I haven't been in touch with that gang since that incident, but I still get worried that this might bite me back later bc I hung out with them. The fact I'm not completely aware of the issue but related to it, still haunts me.

i'm not the type to bully people..never

Of course, I became more mature and intelligent. But I never bullied anyone to begin with.

As someone who is older now, say late 30s, yes I have changed significantly from when I was a teenager.

When I look back, there are instances where perhaps someone might have thought I was bullying them, even though I never knew it at the time. I wouldn't necessarily do the same things know, and I teach my kids to be nice to everyone and treat people with respect.

There were also instances where someone picked on me, but looking back it may have been me that instigated it, or they may have been going through something themselves.

People can change, and often do. This is why I think people jump the gun too quickly when it comes to cases like Garam. Perhaps she was the bully. Perhaps she wasn't and it was a T-ara-esque or AOA situation. At the end of the day however, the fact that she's getting harassed online before being proven guilty is probably going to end up worse than what she has been accused of.

Emotionally, I was far more suscetible to dark and heavy moods and I'm much much better now so yeah I changed. I never bullied anyone and I still dont bully people.

That makes me realize that being bullied as a kid is much worse than as an adult because when youre a kid youre much more vulnerable, emotional, and may have no one to rely to.

When bullying happened to me at school (and it was minor compared to many cases), I didnt knew what to do and just cried assuming my life was supposed to be hell. I started getting anxiety just by looking at the bully and avoid him at all costs. At that time I was also dealing with trouble at home, so it felt like it was just meant to be this way.

When bullying happened as an adult, I stood up for myself and people stopped trying to get reactions from me. It is very different once you develop emotional maturity, and that is something that happens with time and varies from person to person. Theres few things I hate more than dismissing bullying as "just dont be a loser and stand up for yourself"; people that say that have no idea that many people hadn't the opportunity to grow in a home where standing up to yourself is a option. Sometimes life can be so overwhelming when youre a kid that even small things feel hard to fight against.

I think we are all exposed to bullying at some point in our youth. But I think a strong element of the situation is how you as a person deals with it, you can allow it to traumatize you or you don't. Personally, I had a couple of incidents in my life, but I've always believed in standing up for myself.

But more to the point of the op, no, I am not the same person because I am in my 20s now, and many things I've experienced have shaped me into the person I am now, and I think for the better. I also wouldn't automatically assume that a person that I've met when I was a kid would be the same person as well, though if they exhibited the same behavior, I'd remind them very quickly about how they're doing it wrong. For me, it's always been important to not judge or assume things about people.

But I will say this, maybe its my protective nature, but I hate bullies, anyone who uses an advantage to instill fear or intimidate, assault or make people miserable, will never get a pass from me. And if I can reach you, better believe you'll regret it.