TW: Depression and related things - Rant about myself and looking for someone similar to talk to

    I feel like I'm a failure in life. I'm 22, can't drive, still live with my parents, and have been in community college for 2 years now after taking a gap year. I've been meaning to transfer to a university to pursue my degree but I keep postponing it. I'm trying to do it now but everything overwhelms me and I feel sick so I still haven't applied. Due to several mental health issues but mainly depression and ADHD, I have trouble doing classes and only take 2-3 classes at once and it feels like it's taking forever. I tried starting adderall (prescription) and it didn't go well with me so now I'm back at square one. I just feel like such a failure and that I'm taking too long to get anywhere, I'm not even sure if I should pursue what I'm doing anymore and I might not even be able to pass this one class I would need to to do so. At this point I might just settle for an associates degree and find something else to do with my life because I'm 98% sure right now I'm just wasting it and should get a move on.


    If I do somehow manage to pass the class I mentioned and pursue my degree, I probably won't even graduate until I'm 25. I don't even know if I want to wait that long, I'm tired of feeling useless. Time somehow moves all at once and not at all with me, I can go through a day or even days and not know wtf I did and feel like even more of a total waste. The only thing that makes me not feel totally useless is hanging out with me friends because it's like a break from the reality of what I am but even that is a struggle recently and I barely hang out these days. Even my dating life is getting progressively worse and I have no energy to try and meet women despite wanting to date again. Last date I went on was over a year ago at this point but I've just lost all interest. I'm already so old but still so immature and dependent on my parents that I feel like trash. Everything just flies by me and I see my life quickly being wasted. Anyone else in a similar situation to me? I need to talk to someone but I don't want this associate with me. Even on an anonymous online account. It's just pathetic and I hate being associated with this side of me. I planned on ending it all earlier this year and it was a sense of relief when I convinced myself I actually would do it this time but couldn't so here I am. Once again faced with the reality I've created and it's hitting hard.


    Thanks for listening to my rant, I mainly needed to vent and maybe talk to someone similar to me if you happen to read this.

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    I was in a similar situation to you. I know how defeating this felt. It messed up my self-esteem to the point where I constantly assumed people, even strangers, looked down on me. The truth is they don't care that much.


    Please put everything in a different perspective. At 22, you're not old at all. It may seem like you're behind in life and like it will take a long time to obtain what you want, but please keep going. If you end up failing the class, retake it and apply to the university again. Use your free time to better yourself in other ways. A fulfilling hobby goes a long way.


    I'm a bit older now, but I would certainly love to be 22. You still have a lot of time. It doesn't matter that you'll graduate a bit later. If you're graduating at some point in your twenties, you're fine. Do not compare yourself to your peers. It's instinctive to do so, but you'd be surprised how many other people are in similar situations. We all have our own stories.


    Take it easy. Don't put all this pressure on yourself. It will happen. Just focus on taking it one day at a time and enjoying the journey.

    I'm 20 ( 21 pretty soon ) cant drive, still live with parents etc and i dont think its abnormal at all in the current society. If they are happy to have you, dont feel like you are a burden to them.
    I joined a college I'm about to graduate next year just for a useless degree although I plan to work in a completely non-academic line

    So I did feel similar to you last year or so

    but I think focusing on what I do like and plan to work on professionally really helped me focus on productive things


    i think the biggest factor to moving forward in life is motivation

    but you cant depend on spurs of motivation to get stuff done

    try to introspect and find something you like doing that will make you keep focus for a long time

    then devote some time to honing your skills at that and this might happen :

    with drive, you work hard and see yourself improving

    seeing and feeling your improvement will REALLY help clear your self-doubt and also motivate you further on in life


    that's about as much as I can help you with this, but you can talk more if you want to

    Thank you, what hobby did you pick up? The problem is I have no passion for anything. Even what I'm pursuing for my career isn't something that I love, I'm just doing it because I mildly enjoy it in comparison to literally anything else..


    Well, first thing is that it's nice to meet someone else in their 20s who can't drive and live with their parents. I don't think I'd feel nearly as shitty if it weren't for these. I don't know what you're situation is but I'm just absolutely terrified to drive and whenever I get my permit I waste it. Living with my parents is just because I don't have the financial ability, I wish I saved up during highschool now. I'm just planning on cutting college short (I say as I'm about to graduate at 25) and get an associates so I can go work somewhere and live by myself.


    And yea, I need motivation but I just suck at finding it. Like you said, there's been spurs but overall that gets me nowhere and thats why I am where I am in life. How did you find what you're passionate about?

    I'm not similar and I have no understanding of what you are going through, but, if it helps, I'll share the following.


    • Only you can change your own mindset and approach to life.
    • Look at things in a positive way instead as much as you can. Actively look for a positive in bad situations (even if it is just "oh, could have been worse")
      • 22 is young. I also graduated at 25 after somewhat struggling through uni (mostly partying tho). Now at 37 I'm a senior manager in my organisation, managing multiple departments and reporting direct to the GM. Turns out that being great at work has nothing to do with being great at studying (which I was terrible at). As you grow older, you will mature. I look back now and realise that I knew absolute FA when I was your age. Perhaps look at taking a gap year and go work. If you do, try work somewhere where the work is different and exciting, and where you can meet different people (think large venues like arenas, exhibition centres, ski-fields, event/festival work etc)
      • Look at living with your parents as an opportunity to get ahead financially, and an opportunity to spend time with family that you may not have as you get busier in life.
    • Force yourself to learn from everything that happens around/to you. Something good? Learn one thing from it. Something bad? Learn one thing from it. Soon enough, you'll naturally just start to exercise your brain and teach it to automatically make good decisions which in turn will have positive benefits. I'm totally making this up of course, but it has served me well across the years and maybe there's even some form of dopamine being produced on a regular basis that will help with your mental health.
    • Dating will come with confidence. So work on the above to build that confidence again.

    Sorry if the above sounds like rubbish, but as someone who's never experienced poor mental health, the simple things above that I do regularly have helped me throughout my life. Maybe you can gain something from this.


    Best of luck!

    It looks like you feel like you should do what others are doing but if you yourself don't want it then its a given that you will feel miserable for forcing yourself to do it. You still are so young, take your time. You are overthinking and worrying about things that probably won't even happen. If they do, just focus on the problem when it actually appears instead of stressing yourself right now. It's not like if you stress about it right now will make things any better in the future.


    I'm not the best example, I am 26, I can't drive either, never went to college or uni, never dated (!), failed in many things, struggle with discipline and a healthy routine, but I have faith that even if I'm not in the best place right now, many things can and will improve later. Instead I am just thankful for what I have, I'm sure you can be grateful for things you have too. That will make you feel better. I honestly don't feel like I am the worst for that, because I judge things differently from others. I don't care about living my own life exactly how other people are living. I am sure they have their own regrets, problems and failures.


    I don't know dude, we only have one life you know, we don't even have a crystal ball to know what will happen in the future, so the least we can do is do the best with what we have. I think you should try to reflect everyday what do you value and focus on that. Anything else is just white noise.

    I think you should travel.

    Take a leap year and find your passion or just meet new people and have some fun.


    I’m not in your situation but men in their twenties shouldn’t worry about not driving.


    Finish your education and get a degree - you might not even work in that field after anyways so just finish :wilds:

    Go work in another country maybe?


    life is too short to worry - just do it. Live.

    Don’t think about ending it - you are lucky to have an easy life with food on the table & a nice place to live❤️

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