Um, can I get some advice?

    I don't remember who was really good at giving me advice the last time I needed, but I'm gonna request xx-jenn-xx because your opinions are based (and you're older than me and therefore wiser).


    So here's the deal: I'm dating this guy and it's super obvious that he's really into me. And I'm super obvious about the fact that I'm into him (because we both know I'm waaaay out of his league and he's a bit insecure about that). Everything's going pretty well so far, but there's one thing that kinda pissing me off: he never texts me first. I keep telling myself that he's just shy or whatever because when I do finally text him we'll talk for hours. But I'm consistently a little pissed and a bit hurt by the fact that he won't text me first. What should I do? I don't wanna straight up acknowledge the problem because I feel like if I say it then he'll do it because I want him to (but I want him to want to).


    AKP Aunties, please advise.

  • AllKill VIP

    Well it's not really good idea to ask women how men think they don't quite understand.


    The best idea I give you is to say why don't you ever text first lol? Just say it like that.

    Confront it head on is the best way. Some guys don't like appearing clingy or needy. Trying to play it cool.


    Especially if you're out of his league. And if he says I'll text first say well don't force yourself I'm just wondering.


    Playing games and etc just isn't helpful bring it up even if it's awkward I once had a friend that only replied when I was offline I'm like you purposely trying to avoid chatting? Lol but it wasn't that just bad timing.

    Quote from key10lee

    Okay, so two things:

    1. That's childish af and I'm trying to be cool and mature about it. Because I'm supposed to be an adult now and whatever (college). That was my first plan though.

    2. We have a date on Thursday, so even if I did do that it wouldn't work.

    Lol. I thought you want other way besides the "mature" way, since the mature way is so obvious. Well, you know what to do, good luck on your date

    I asked the aunties specifically because aunties give the best advice.


    And bro, I totally would cut the bs and be direct (that's my style) but then it wouldn't be of his own volition. You see the dilemma?


    Quote from ellenote

    Honestly the best thing to do is just ask him in a joking way. but you have to bring it up at a good time, like start the conversation off and then once you talk for like 30 minutes then ask him.

    Ooh, that's a good idea. Thank you.

  • AllKill VIP
    Quote from key10lee

    I asked the aunties specifically because aunties give the best advice.


    And bro, I totally would cut the bs and be direct (that's my style) but then it wouldn't be of his own volition. You see the dilemma?


    Ooh, that's a good idea. Thank you.

    Yeah so bring it up like a joke . Like what ellenote said.


    Being straightforward in a joking way is a good way to get a point across. I get what you're saying actually I had this problem many years ago I assumed someone wasn't interested in me but they were just shy I learnt.

  • AllKill VIP
    Quote from key10lee

    I don't remember who was really good at giving me advice the last time I needed, but I'm gonna request xx-jenn-xx because your opinions are based (and you're older than me and therefore wiser).


    So here's the deal: I'm dating this guy and it's super obvious that he's really into me. And I'm super obvious about the fact that I'm into him (because we both know I'm waaaay out of his league and he's a bit insecure about that). Everything's going pretty well so far, but there's one thing that kinda pissing me off: he never texts me first. I keep telling myself that he's just shy or whatever because when I do finally text him we'll talk for hours. But I'm consistently a little pissed and a bit hurt by the fact that he won't text me first. What should I do? I don't wanna straight up acknowledge the problem because I feel like if I say it then he'll do it because I want him to (but I want him to want to).


    AKP Aunties, please advise.

    I'm a firm believer of communication. Bring it up on a friendly way that you'd like to hear from him first sometimes otherwise you're not sure if you're disturbing/bothering him.


    Men often suck at communication. It might end up being a thing where u always write first. But yeah I would bring it up in a non confrontational way.

    communication communication communication!!!


    just talk to him about it


    lots of relationship issues whether they be romantic or work or friendship or otherwise can be solved just be speaking to the other person about it


    for example since you're dating I'm sure you find out each other's likes and dislikes and preferences and so forth so why not communicate and ask about each other's communication preferences...


    some people like to text, others prefer talking or emails or hell even hand written letters...

    so just speak to him about it

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