growing up with only one side of the family

its crazy

when you technically have a big family

and yet

you know none of them
ur always wondering

what could have been

like if we knew each other

i look exact like my dads side of the family

i have my dad's last name, (i am the ONLY one)
yet i am 100% only with my mom's side of the family

i feel like a total outcast sometimes

i cant lie

its very weird.

theyre all i know

but yet

i feel like im just THERE
an add-on to the family
everyone with the same last name

except me
idk why im caught up on last names its just weird

more than just three siblings i dont know

i have an uncle i dont know

i have grandparents i never met/remember
(and yes no dad LOL! )

like a side of the family i never unlocked

and yet, every thing about me is more THEM than my moms side (as accounts told by my mom)

identity feels fake sometimes

Quote from xx-jenn-xx

I wish to be beys family

Quote from xx-jenn-xx

Accept meee

UR ALREADY FAMILY TO ME !!!

Quote from selfmate

haver you ever tried getting into contact with that side of the family?

sadly cant! well, my sister thats the "middle" child, i probably have the best chance of getting to know, i just dont know her contact info or how to get in touch, anything like that i did meet her a few times when i was a kid but after that lost contact....
but as for my older two sisters, they hate me! (not anything i did, just purely because im my dads kid ) so yea, no chance for them i have an extremely funny story abt my oldest sister, like ironically funny.....
have no idea abt my uncle whatsoever though.... i dont even know his name

Quote from selfmate

hmm....interesting

I won't ask any further my friend since you seem to feel bad about it

I hope everything works out well with the family that you do have though

i dont feel too bad about it, or maybe i do but its totally subconscious because it is something i think abt kinda frequently i dont even know tbh
i just feel weird on an identity level