Posts by ItsMeli

  • Identity crisis

    Quote from selfmate

    well if you say that you speak or want to speak cantonese then most likely he came from the Guangdong region because people there speak the cantonese dialect in addition to mandarin

    That could be a really good possibility✨ (and i want to learn) but hopefully soon I could reunite so my questions could be answered but I don't know if it will happen cause (like I said before) it's not a close family :C but I have faith that soon I'll find a way of embracing my heritage 💖

  • Identity crisis

    Quote from selfmate

    what part of china was he from if you know ?

    My dad told me that he doesn't know but he will investigate/ ask about it :C we have really limited information (almost nothing) i have a photo of him (my great grandfather), so I'm hoping that maybe soon I could reunite with my dad's family, cause we've only met once :/

  • Identity crisis

    Thanks for your words💖 I'll use the website and check her channel🌺 Good luck too✨

  • Identity crisis

    Thanks for your advice💖 I'm planning to learn really soon✨

  • Identity crisis

    Quote from monalisalove

    I am not asian neither am part of asians, buuuut what I know is: yes, you are half chinese and half latin. Just bc you didn't grow up as a chinese it doesn't take away your identity. Blood speaks more than culture as like your life, people can be deprived from their own culture experience.

    Just so you know YOU ARE half chinese, half latin. Your name shouldn't be an issue to you, just be proud of yourself. Your history is complicated and full of regrets (your family decisions, not you), but just live on! And about others judgments against you bc of your name, your appearance or any other thing, just don't care. People talk against others bc they are sad or just hypocrite prejudiced so I suggest you to just find who you are within your heart and thoughts. Don't expect others to label you, be courageous and strong enough to think that if you want to be a butterfly just be a butterfly without minding others! Be happy and be proud! My opinion and thoughts to you!

    Thanks for your beautiful words💖

  • Identity crisis

    Quote from Jk996

    Ofc that you can! You should be proud of your rich family history, the last name means nth imo. You belong to the both sides, Hispanic and Asian imo. There is no need for comparisons and saperations.

    And your grandpa had probably a good reason why he lost contact with the rest of family. You should respect and dont judge it. As you can see, he taught your dad to proudly say that he is Asian which means that he never forgot it or was ashamed by it too.

    Thanks for words, yes, my family did what they needed to do and I'm proud of it💖

  • Identity crisis

    DISCLAIMER: LONG


    Hi, i'm new to the forum so I've decided to post about this existential crisis that I've been dealing with for many years now.


    With the rise of Kpop; Asian culture, appreciation and appropriation has spread enormously. This momentous have triggered something inside me that I've always tried to ignore it , and it makes me question my identity.


    So, my great grandfather (dad's side) was a fully chinese immigrant that moved to my native country in LatinAmerica, escaping the beginning of the first world war in 1914. Once he moved here, he got married with a latina really fast (i don't have certain information if my great grandmother was east asian also), so it could be easier for him to get my native country's nationality. So basically he gave up his chinese nationality and name, and he chose the most common last name in the country so he could blend easily. He came from a family with quite a big fortune so he lived like a rich person until later in life, his siblings ruined it.

    I never got to met neither my grandpa or my great-grandpa from my dad's side cause they passed away before I was born.


    My father have a really BIG family, a LOT of siblings and cousins but his family isn't super close with their cousins.


    My dad was never raised with chinese culture, but has always considered himself chinese (because we have chinese blood) also he has the distinguished features of my great grandfather (we have a photography of him).


    From the lack of information about this situation, it looks like there was a big fight between my great grandfather and his siblings about the management of properties and money ending with my great grandfather separating himself from his siblings which somehow lead to my dad not having pure knowledge of the chinese culture.


    Growing up my facial features never concerned me cause in my head everybody is equal. Even when my mom's family (they're spanish and latinos) brought up the difference of looks between me, my older brother and my father. My brother also has my great grandpa's features.


    Until a few years ago, my dad's side of the family decided to meet for the first time in 40+ years and we noticed that my dad's cousins did grew up with chinese culture and language... we can't understand what happened... It hurts. They brought up the topic of our last names and how they tried to recover our original chinese last name, like, they even went to China but was too complicated because we had to travel and change so many documents so they just stopped.



    Now, recently with Kpop, I started seen more and more east asian representation on the western media. So inevitably I started comparing myself.

    I don't look fully westernized or fully asian. When I tried to copy this youtube makeup tutorials from this white creators, my eye shape or my lid space was never big enough or round enough, my mouth wasn't long enough, my cheekbones are different to kim kardashian's cheekbones.

    Also growing i liked learning through youtube videos about different cultures specially asian, but never went deep enough because it frustrated me that I couldn't be part of it because we were never taught about it. I've been wanting to learn cantonese for some time but idk.


    I want my chinese last name back, i wish I grew up differently.


    I've asked my dad many MANY times before if we were chinese and he always said yes, proudly yes.


    Now with this situation of completely non asians/ without asian or at least east asian descendants wanting to be kpop trainees. It's funny but it made me realize. What am I? Because I have chinese blood but my last name is hispanic and my story is too complicated. I've referred myself as part asian or asian before,cause my dad does it. But ¿Can I consider myself, asian? ¿Does the term "part asian" is acceptable? ¿Am I been offensive? ¿Do i belong or not?


    Sorry if it's too long. Please be nice and have a good life. <3