do most ppl settle down with whatever they can get

like friends ,spouse etc due to low self esteem , insecurity ,unattractiveness

is that even love?

but yea ,i get it - most ppl rather die than being alone

pathetic

Quote from carljungkim

Sometimes it's not even low self esteem or insecurity, time plays a big part.

Have you watch those Wong Kar Wai movies: IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE and 2046? They explain it better than I can.

please explain

do not really like chinese movie

but i know plenty of ppl saying they date ugly / broke ppl due to fear

Quote from carljungkim

Due to the fear of being alone? Well, you can't fault them, can you?

no ,they fear that the attractive one would run away with other ppl / does not accept them

i just laugh and feel bad for their partner

Quote from selfmate

I'll mention a story I once heard/read about

There was this girl who dreamed of finding the one - Mr Perfect if you will and set forth beaming with hope. She crossed a bridge and an old man fishing asked what she was doing and she replied that she was going forth to the world to find Mr Perfect.

A few years later this girl comes back across the bridge with sadness and dejection in her eyes and the old man fishing remembers her and asks hey did you find Mr Perfect and she replied yes I found him. The old man asks "and?" the girl replies "I found him but he was looking for Miss Perfect"

is there such thing like mr perfect?

i do not even think those kpop idols whom ppl worship like crazy are even perfect

Quote from The-Sheriff

Of course, there is a Mr. Perfect.

self proclaimed mr perfect

btw ,i hate perfectionist

they are not even perfect but expect ppl to be perfect hurrdurr

Quote from selfmate

I think in this story Mr Perfect isn't necessarily the most perfect man in the world but the most ideal man for the girl in the story. And what the story tells us is that we're all looking for a partner but even if we find them that person might not necessarily want you as their partner so whatever high aspirations people have of partners, life, job etc those expectations might have to be simmered down a bit - is that considered settling?

isnt love abt finding someone who like u alot and want to be with u? lol

simmer down a bit? more like a lot lol

Quote from selfmate

I think in this story Mr Perfect isn't necessarily the most perfect man in the world but the most ideal man for the girl in the story. And what the story tells us is that we're all looking for a partner but even if we find them that person might not necessarily want you as their partner so whatever high aspirations people have of partners, life, job etc those expectations might have to be simmered down a bit - is that considered settling?

life is all about balance for a better life

Quote from Flowercrew

Don't ever settle for anything less than what you want.

yes otherwise u would hate yourself

i feel like killing myself when i force myself to accept something that i dislike

it is mixture of unworthiness ,shamefulness etc

Quote from soshilovelife

If you place the bar too high nobody will ever rise to meet the standards. And sometimes last minute choices are just a blessing in disguise. A lot of factors play a part on why people settle down.

what is too high? most ppl are not nice so asking someone to be nice is already a high bar

Quote from selfmate

I completely agree about balance but i think the difference between settling and simmering one's expectations is that there are literally girls that say I want a guy over 6 feet nothing less (when they are themselves like less than 5'2 or something) and then they a guy who has most other characteristics but don't meet the height requirement and so the girl rejects him - ie simmering one's expectations.

then why dont just be alone? i dont think anyone have to force themselves to take what they dont want

Quote from selfmate

I completely agree about balance but i think the difference between settling and simmering one's expectations is that there are literally girls that say I want a guy over 6 feet nothing less (when they are themselves like less than 5'2 or something) and then they a guy who has most other characteristics but don't meet the height requirement and so the girl rejects him - ie simmering one's expectations.

although ppl just gotta judge others lmao