Display MoreAespa - Cardboard cutouts could perform better. A group made up of camera angles and Hatsune Miki ripoffs, whose best song is a recycled EDM drop from a film franchise that's gone on for 3 films too long. The towering achievement is their album sales which are currently filling up the back of the landfill in Shenzen. The icing on this terrible cake is the nepotism baby whose raps are so boring she should start a mining company. Their greatest friend is the "play" button whenever they perform.
IVE - Starship's crowning achievement in snatching songs from Sunmi and stumbling into success. Lead by 2 ex-rigged members whose public personas are so robotic and stilted it's like Windows Vista is permanently booting up in ther minds. Great scientists around the world are currently working together to try and remember the other 4 members because no-one recalls their names. The talent for this group currently on "missing" signs on power-poles around the neighbourhood.
Itzy - Cult-master JYP's crowning achievement of lots of noise with little to show for it. Literally. Have yet to meet a musical note that couldn't be talk-rapped and shouted instead of sung. Lyrics and concepts so chidlish it makes Nikelodeon look like NPR. In all likelihood will disband in 1-2 years when Yeji or Ryujin gets fed up with the 3 other girls dragging the group to oblivion. Or someone manages to sneak in and turn off the auto-zoom function on the video camera taping their dances, and they get exposed for being the middling group they always have been.
Le Sserafim - One airbrush filter or instagram filter away from being vanished, literally. A group so manufactured, they make the other groups on this list look like underground garage punk bands. Medical physicians have hailed their soporific powers, being so boring and mind-numbing, as a breakthrough in treating anxiety and sleep disorders. Also with 2 ex-rigged group members, one being the Izone member everyone forgot about for 3 years, and the other whose better of being a twitch streamer then an Idol.
Enhypen - A collection of frat boys who appear to hate each other. Songs which have 14 composers yet someone ended being a brew of an Ableton sampler set, vocals recorded through a Fisher Price Walkie-Talkie, and then transmitted by 1960's radio technology from the moon. In a Recent UN forum, it was discussed about a worldwide campaign to reach out to Enhypen fans, and get them they help they need to move on to a better group.
Nmixx - Currently to this day, it's said a person can, when in the right area and listening carefully, hear a whisper on the wind - "O.O actually isn't that bad, they're so talented". Currently the most "talented" member is someone who couldn't make the cut into Itzy, which tells you all you need to know about this groups future success. Will be an interesting footnote in a few years time, when some old kpop stan goes "hey do you remember Nmixx" to someone else, and they just throw their heads back and laugh.
SKZ - Cmon, let's be honest. In no way can this formless mass of rehashing tired old song genres and drop beats be serious. Just a cheeky prank played by some Australians I think. Getting the latest royalty-free samples and hitting shuffle isn't making music. Contain stans more toxic then nuclear waste, who tragically, had mass psychosis event when their fabled "top rapper" bombed out in the first round of SMTM. The copium required to justify that is earth's latest source of free, renewable energy.
What are Enhypen and SKZ doing here? They're not girl groups. Seeing how TXT is missing I bet it's a moa.
