thank u 
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I’m really frustrated. I get really depressed easily and I’m sick of everything at this point. I’m tired of everyone and I don’t think I can do this anymore. I don’t know how much I can take. No one talks to me, i feel like I want to skip all my classes. I want to leave and idk move or something. I can’t focus, I’m tired.
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kinda sad that i have to be the one to break the generational curse... you could have if you weren't so damn stubborn... there is one thing for certain though, I will never put this burden on anyone else like you did. I won't force anyone to ever deal with that because I know how it feels. it's hard for me not to hold any resentment towards you. i have already accepted the fact that i will never understand what its like to have a supportive mother who doesn't try to pit the siblings against each other. why? that is a question i will never have an answer too. your mother did it so you know how destructive that was. why are you doing this to me? is that really too much to ask? we are adults now and i'm afraid there is no saving our relationship. it's over. being the only girl in the family also doesn't help. it makes me sad to know that I feel relieved thinking about you not being here to torment anyone. I don't want to feel like that, i really don't. and no matter how hard you try, you won't break the bond that I have with my brothers. stop trying to use them as your pawn. just remember when you're cold and alone, I may not be there anymore. i can't keep hurting myself by allowing the door to be open. sorry... this just isn't normal
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kinda sad that i have to be the one to break the generational curse... you could have if you weren't so damn stubborn... there is one thing for certain though, I will never put this burden on anyone else like you did. I won't force anyone to ever deal with that because I know how it feels. it's hard for me not to hold any resentment towards you. i have already accepted the fact that i will never understand what its like to have a supportive mother who doesn't try to pit the siblings against each other. why? that is a question i will never have an answer too. your mother did it so you know how destructive that was. why are you doing this to me? is that really too much to ask? we are adults now and i'm afraid there is no saving our relationship. it's over. being the only girl in the family also doesn't help. it makes me sad to know that I feel relieved thinking about you not being here to torment anyone. I don't want to feel like that, i really don't. and no matter how hard you try, you won't break the bond that I have with my brothers. stop trying to use them as your pawn. just remember when you're cold and alone, I may not be there anymore. i can't keep hurting myself by allowing the door to be open. sorry... this just isn't normal
Sounds like you have narcissistic parents
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Idk i feel so anxious whenever i feel attracted to a guy and he also seem interested in me, i remember all the awful shit i went through and start thinking that it could never work and that we dont really match and that maybe actually i am just overthinking too much and thats why it wont work like maybe hes not even interested in me at all. Maybe we wont match. I have so much relationship anxiety. I feel unworthy. The guys i like would never know like they cant know they might see me and dont realize how heavy my emotional baggage is and how it prevents me from getting close to them. That makes sad tbh i dont know how to deal with it. Like maybe we really shouldnt even try, because why do it if its probably not work anyway? Especially when i'm starving for intimacy, i might end up too clingy or anxious when or if we get together. Im also so awkward which makes me feel even more like i dont match with anyone. I wish things were easier i absolutely hate all trauma that i experienced when i was younger that prevents me from being happy and carefree now.
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crying on my birthday....
You'll be okay. Many of us have those days when we're reminded of certain things that hit us like a ton of bricks.
If you really need, though, please don't hesitate to look for help. Even if you don't feel the need, it would be beneficial.
It's hard and it will be hard, but it's also worth knowing you deserve to overcome these feelings or emotions. You will.
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F**k COVID
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U don't deserve to get bullied.Them alienating u is not right.I don't know what i do too that sometimes people don't like me but being casted out hurts.
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You'll be okay. Many of us have those days when we're reminded of certain things that hit us like a ton of bricks.
If you really need, though, please don't hesitate to look for help. Even if you don't feel the need, it would be beneficial.
It's hard and it will be hard, but it's also worth knowing you deserve to overcome these feelings or emotions. You will.
Ty.
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