Audition 1: "Oh, you took some acting classes? That's cool, but uh, can you shout at the top of your lungs until your voice becomes so hoarse that you're whispering by the end? Good. Sign here."
Audition 2: "Oh, you took some acting classes? That's nice, but uh, can you wail in complete misery for 10 mins straight? Good. Sign here."