hi summer bye
your soft arms that i clung so tightly to,
would they be willing to accept me again?
i need someone to yell at me now,
to tell me to call your cellphone without inhibition
i need reminder that this life without you is more miserable than a life where i don't know how you are,
a reminder that there's only one you
i'm in a different state, it reminds me how freeing it is
if we ever talked once more, can i visit?
we don't have to talk about anything
just like the moments we had, sitting in silence in the basement on the torn blue couch,
with my head on your shoulder
i need to tell you that i still love you
and i regret mutually parting ways with you
i should've spoken up for my heart that i can barely hear.
beating now, without you
i let this out into the digital void,
as if you'll see this and recognize me
but i wonder
do i just let go of someone who shared the same illnesses as me?
do i just let go of someone who made me believe in life again?
do i continue believing it was just a one time experience?
where's my sign?
where's my signal that i'm not crazy, my message that tells me to reach out to you once more?
i'll be right here, write here, until i find it
the camp counselors took away my razors the day after you left
and at a camp where no phones were allowed,
they let me call you until the day i went home
every summer since has been silent
i want your julys for the rest of my life, more than any ring or precious item that ever was
how did we lose track?
what do i have to do to convince god that i'm worthy of your love?
i don't believe in him anymore, but for one more chance with you, i will.
i promise i won't let go of your hand.
hi g.h. bye
