why are fans so obsessed and so demanding of kpop idols?

This really depends on the company.

Hospitals won't hire engineers to do the doctor's job.

If you want idols who sincerely love doing all that, idols from JYPE might be what you looking for.

JYPE generally screened their trainees for this value cause that is what they believe in.

So, it is a win-win situation for the idols and those fans. They both get to do what they love.

Well this is not to say that other companies don't have this,

but JYPE has been open about this and you can just look at their previous and current groups as proof of it.

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At this point, I am confused right now whether people want BP's comeback or not. Personally I neither agree nor disagree with an opinion like this. Not everything that fans want from your faves is necessarily always too demanding for "your poor old faves' smol backbone" Sometimes something simple is enough for fans to be excited about. it doesnt have to be a comeback or a full album of 20 songs.

At the same time, I get it! On another extreme end of the spectrum if your faves are already doing a solid job in fulfilling their job description and the regular standard as idol or idol group, then demanding more is just being entitled to said idols.