Do you ever feel too... old? And how do you handle it?

Ever since my birthday earlier this month I've been feeling a bit depressed over becoming older. Some years ago turning older would make me excited because I would be considered as more "adult" and taken more seriously, but nowadays, and especially when I have conversations and spend time with people younger than me, I feel like I don't connect well with them anymore? Not only that, but my opinions and preferences are gravitating towards the ones of my older sister (who is now settling and starting a new family)... I also don't have the same energy as before. For example, if I go out, by 11pm I'm too tired and I have no patience to keep going and just want to go home. And that makes me compare myself with the people who are younger (including myself, 5 years ago), who could go on all night.... I also feel like covid stole 2 years away from my youth, and it's like I took a time machine from young adult to full-on adult, without the fun part...

And because of all of this, I'm having this overwhelming need to rush things and do everything I've wanted to do "while I still have time", and start stressing out when I realize I won't have time for it all. Which is such a ridiculous way to think because you're really never too old for something... but I can't help it and I feel quite sad and depressed about this. I've had people reassure me than I'm not old at all, but I can't find a way to make myself feel better. I think it needs to come from me, and a different way of thinking.

Do you guys ever feel like this? And if so, how do you cope with it and what helps you feel better?

Quote from aeconic

I want to say that you're not alone when you feel this way. I feel like I missed out on a lot of things because of my anxiety. My 27th birthday is in a few weeks and I feel somewhat down about it. This is kind of embarrassing to admit but I tell myself months in advance that I'm 1 year older than I really am so that way when my birthday comes I won't feel so down about it. Usually I don't feel that bad about my age, only around my birthday. I think it's a matter of trying to have a positive mindset. Knowing that we were blessed to enjoy another year when so many people weren't.

Thank you! I understand you, I also feel like my anxiety pretty much "postponed" my youth and maturity, and I definitely could have done so much more if it weren't for it. I try not to dwell too much on the past and try to look forward to what the future will bring but it's hard to keep that mindset every single day.

Quote from paradise52

sometimes but then I remember I'm just comparing myself to other people's life and that will always make me frustrated in the end... no one will ever be able to have picture perfect life, even people who from the outside seem to have done things in the "righ time"

This is also a problem for me, I keep comparing myself to other people (especially those who are my age) knowing damn well I shouldn't.

Quote from keaji

I get that... For me sometimes other people would compare and made me feel as if I would have to live my life differently. But the fact is your life is just yours and you get to decide how you live it. Things that you want, will come in the right time for you. Your path is just yours and maybe you have some things other people also wish to have.

Life it's not a race or competition, so just put yoursef on first place. Always. And surround yoursef with people that tell you, you're doing amazing at what you do, encourage you to follow what you're passionate about and that will make you happy. Not the ones that would put you down and make you feel as if you're in any way not enough.

You got this

I grew up being compared to other girls my age and to my sister all the time by my family, and it was always on a negative light. They don't do this anymore because they have also realized that it wasn't a healthy environment for me, but it was enough for me to grow as a very insecure and unsure person who has trust issues.

It had to come from me and advice from others to learn that this is not a way to live, because I believe everyone's self is built from their experiences and memories from what life brought them, so obviously they won't be the same as everybody else. But it's still something I struggle with on the daily.

Thank you so much for the nice words.

Quote from Rainbowlicious

Since I'm only 16, I haven't been too upset about getting older (though I'm sort of excited to get older but at the same time, I'm told that "why should you be" by adults and I don't really blame them)

I do feel older when there are so many people younger than me...I mean, I know it's a natural thing, there will never not be millions of people younger than me. However...at the same time, it's sort of trippy how you grew up with things that were popular for your age not too long ago that you loved and the kids younger than you didn't. (I feel like that's how most kids my age probably from ages 14-18 feel about that)

Like the Nintendo Wii and D.S, PS3, Xbox 360...extremely iconic. And the popular shows, toys and movies that were really popular when I was younger, aren't with those who are my age back then. I remember when it was more common to go out on the playground and find kids you can play with all day then everyone on phones, tablets, computers, and consoles. Is it just me or is the age that kids get on electronic devices younger and younger every year? 9-year-olds have their own cell phones now when it used to be most kids didn't get their first phones until like 13 years old.

But I'm sort of in a gray area since I watched the things that were most popular in my childhood probably before turning 12 change and become obsolete while I'm growing up as a teenager with the new norms like having a Switch, PS4/PS5, Xbox One, and VR headsets and everything being on streaming instead of on Blu-Ray/DVD and most games releasing in online stores than getting physical copies

(I remember when we were younger and my dad, being a big video gamer, would go to GameStop or Vintage Stock or Game XChange or something and picking out games now all the games we get are in virtual stores like the PS Store or Steam or Oculus)

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Been there... when I was your age and started seeing people on the Olympics and such who were younger than me, that's where it started to hit me... But it wasn't something that affected me on the long run.

And I feel you on that, I didn't get my own phone until I was about 12 or 13 and I remember I was one of the last people in my class to own one. Nowadays I see small kids who aren't even in primary school already handling ipads and phones. It's so weird to me...

Quote from MY-Kwangya

No, I love getting older. I'm only 3 months off 54 and I like the maturity and wisdom that comes with age. I can't believe I've made it this far and with good health too but I like to age gracefully and have no hang ups about it.

It makes me laugh to hear some youngsters say they feel old at 30 -Lol. You're still spring chickens, wait till you get into your 50's.

Thanks for the input! This helped a lot

Quote from keaji

I totally understand, I think a lot of time people do it to 'motivate us', but for me this kind of comparisons never did motivate me, but would only make me feel bad. I wish people would learn that comparing someone to others is for a lot of people not motivational, but only makes them feel insecure and give up on what they're doing.

It's of course hard to totally forget about it and not struggle with it, but I think it helps if you remind yourself that you're the one that makes rules and decisions for yourself. Which of course doesn't mean people close to you shouldn't give you advice if you ask for it or help you if you're in need, but they should never tell you to hurry up with what you're doing or that your accomplishments aren't enough. Or that something is missing from your life. I think life is not about accomplishments and trying to be better than other people. I believe it's about being at peace, content and happy, as much as we can.

A lot of people struggle with that and I also think about such things sometimes, those kind of thoughts is what helps me not struggle with it too much.

To me you seem as a super sweet and gentle person and I feel like you're doing great as you do!

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Thank you your posts and the other users' here really helped me feel better. I'm glad (and relieved) to see that many people understand my feelings...

Quote from zuzuhhaa

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BB NOOOO

first of all, i think your age is the coolest age tbh. in fact, i was debating whether or not telling you that only your wall today but ended up deciding against it because sometimes i get self-conscious and think im bugging you guys when i comment. . don't be sad or feel old. you should be proud of who you are and not let that stop you from being happy. i know i don't know much about how you're feeling- mostly because i haven't gotten to that age yet, but just because you're going at a different pace than others your age or even younger than you doesn't mean you're going too slowly with your life. everyone is different, so therefore we're all meant to go in different directions with different pathways to success.

but if there's one thing i can relate to, its losing my age to covid. i lost basically lost half of my high school experience to a stupid pandemic, and because of that i don't feel like a junior at all. when school first started up again i felt so behind on everything because of how much i missed out on during my second half of freshmen, and my entire sophomore year, and even a good chunk of my junior year with the whole mask mandate. i felt like i wasn't ready for all of this, esp with all the burdens the dreaded "junior year" comes with. but eventually i got over it and realized that i wasn't the only person who felt "behind" and the best way to cope with it for me would be to surround and talk about your experiences with people who are in a similar position as us in life. i know we has people tend to compare ourselves to people in a better place to strive for improvement, but i think its also important for a reality check sometimes and realize that you as an individual are not behind, or less than. sure i think feelings like that are inevitable, but i want you to know, that you're not the only person who feels like they lost two years because of a pandemic, and you are not the only person who fears what you do.

and if you ever need to talk, you know where to go. you have two guilds that will lovingly welcome you with open arms

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love you zuzuzuzu

Quote from Statlis

After I started TikTok, my niece stopped calling me old)