This type of attitude is really tiring

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    He has no right to downplay anyone's survival story, first of all.

    No right whatsoever.

    Everyone is doing their best to get by and if some videos on the Internet of hard working Korean entertainers is the thing that helps you when nothing else does then so be it.

    Or a book, or a game, or a show, or any other type of art.


    Does he realise that we don't NEED them to know we exist as individuals to enjoy their work?

    And they don't need us to know every detail about their lives either?

    Our existence doesn't need to be acknowledged by them more than it is already as a collective.



    If someone writes a philosophy book that changes the way I think about myself and makes me want to live my life differently then I don't need anything else to validate that experience. Don't need to be buddies with them, don't need to ever meet.


    This "just go to therapy" comment is the worst because it doesn't take into consideration the fact that not everyone has access to it. Therapy is expensive and free therapy, at least in places I know, is offered with limitations.

    Some people may even be prevented from seeking help by their families.


    There are BTS fans and kpop fans that have therapy OR are therapists themselves and they still being impacted in a significant way by BTS.

    Even therapy cannot make you value yourself, it is a tool like any other. It is not a replacement for things that bring you joy.

    We all "save" ourselves in the end even if it's by using someone else.


    How on earth does this make him uncomfortable?

    Sasaengs, sure.

    Toxic fandom culture and online harassment, most certainly.


    BTS being the reason someone copes with a long term health condition with a smile on their face, weathers through a turbulent period of their life, picks up an old hobby, picks up a book, learns a new skill, finds a good friend, finds the courage to pursue their passion, treats themselves gentler...this is what bothers people? Really?

    BTS fans being saved, figuratively or literally, is the hill he chooses to die on?

  • i felt that....

    but wht did that bastard do

  • Well,


    Some people DO FIND comfort and happiness in groups or individuals, It's normal human emotion.

    The way he approached the subject is very shallow.



    Although I will say one shouldn't base their sense of self-worth or well-being on any group of individual under any circumstances. That's not healthy.




    I think this video suffers from poor choice of words.

    I love Pikachu.

    Always have, Always will.


    "Pika-Pi"

  • Not that I want to make this about my faves, but Mariah once said


    "And anyone who has told me that a song I wrote helped saved your life I thank you, because you saved mine"



    Let people find meaning in whatever they want, whether is it a spiritual entity or a song or whatever you don't need to invalidate that

  • People like him are so unhappy with their own lives that they need to nitpick on the way the others try to find their source of happiness and consolation.

    And don't even get me started with this bullshit argument, that "BTS don't even know you exist". I don't need other people to acknowledge my existence in order to feel worthy as an individual. It is enough knowing that these experiences and thoughts shared through their music are universal, in order to be inspired to go forward.

  • Who is even that guy? Should we know him?


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    I love Pikachu.

    Always have, Always will.


    "Pika-Pi"

  • Though I agree that one should not put their self-worth or well-being on any Group or individual. It’s indeed unhealthy.

    I disagree with the rest. I say whatever makes you feel happy, go for it.

    If stanning a Group helped you to beat your inner demons, so shall it be. I really don’t see a different between this and others finding strength and hope through a book or online mentor. It’s the message these people convey that moved you, not them as a person, so technically they don’t need to know about your existence.


    I think I get what he was trying to say, but delivered his message extremely insensitive and took it too literally.


    His other content isn’t that insensitive and more reasonable.

  • I mean I'm sure he knows about other things, I'm not calling him an evil person. Just...extremely condescending.

    His follow up video was also condescending.

    He seemed disgusted by the reaction because all he thinks he did was talk about kpop not replacing therapy even though "BTS literally saved me" is not advocating for anyone to drop therapy for BTS. He didn't realise what he did wrong.

  • As misguided as this take was, I think it's important not to go too hard on him for this.


    We need to know who this guy is. He uses his platform to spread awareness about social justice issues. He's done a lot in terms of bridging cultures and bringing people together. He's Korean and he also regularly speaks positively about K-pop as a genre; he's not just some racist hater.


    It would be a shame for all that to be tarnished just because we disagree with one thing he said. It looks like it's a recent video, so I'm sure he's getting educated in the TikTok comments anyway.

    Sometimes I get anxiety because i want to speak about those issues on a public platform but knowing my clumsy self, If i stumble upon my words, it's game over for me.

    I love Pikachu.

    Always have, Always will.


    "Pika-Pi"

  • I love this quote.

    It goes both ways, and I think it is really a beautiful thing.

  • You see, it's fine to say that you shouldn't tie your self worth to someone else.

    I mean that is something we all agree on. People who do that have a reason for doing that also but nevertheless,

    he really seemed to think that some kpop fans don't know this.


    Notice how he started the video, "I find it really off putting when people say 'BTS literally saved my life' "


    It's weird that he would interpret it that way, that we can't be "saved" by someone or something that we can't touch or talk to directly so we must think it is an exact replacement for therapy.

  • Sometimes I get anxiety because i want to speak about those issues on a public platform but knowing my clumsy self, If i stumble upon my words, it's game over for me.

    Tbh just do it. You can’t always find the right words, especially if english isn’t your native language. If people didn’t understood you, try to explain yourself. If they don’t wanna listen and continue judge and antagonize you, there is a high chance that they weren’t there to give you the benefit of doubt in the first place anyway.


    Someone who isn’t biased towards you would at least try to understand you better by asking you to further elaborate or will reply with constructive and reasonable counter arguments to question yours. This is how a healthy conversation should look like, even if both sides disagree with each other.

  • Yes I agree. The way he said it was very insensitive and tbh he didn’t seem to have thought it through enough, or couldn’t go more into details because TikTok videos are very short.

    Especially your with your last part, this is what religious people do as well, they find strength and hope in something or someone they can’t touch or directly talk too (with getting an response).


    He shouldn’t have taking this literally.

    I think what he was trying to say is we shouldn’t take Kpop as a replacement for a real therapist ( which unfortunately many actually do). But he ended up downplaying the stories of everyone one. The generalizing killed his message.


    I’m sure by now a lot of wrote him that what I said can be offensive to many people. So he will either take this video down or releases an additional video to explain this one.


  • This was the second video I was talking about which was still not helpful.

    I know what he was trying to say. It is something that has been said many times. Like junk food being bad. Or watching too much TV.

    BTS themselves made songs about not sacrificing yourself for someone else.

    Have a good relationship with yourself first.


    I never said he hated Koreans or anything like that. I'm sure he doesn't.


    He's just, well, "mansplaining" a little here. I don't really like the use of that word but that is what it feels like.

    He didn't say he misworded his last video, he just thought we didn't understand his point.

    And he gave several opinions, without realising maybe.

    The reason people brought up other fandoms is because he specifically mentioned BTS fans being off putting when forming emotional attachments, I think it would really have been better to not mention any name.

  • BTS gives me happiness and joy that always lifts me from the bad day I have, bad mood or a stressed situation. When I have bad thoughts, BTS are my outlets that make me forget about it and instead put a smile on my face through their music, videos & pictures. I don’t understand why people must be condemned for it? I never wished or yearned for BTS to know my existence apart from the collective ARMY fandom and it is not necessary as well.

  • Just another edgy kid on the internet. The only difference is he gets paid for saying this stuff.

    He is literally mocking people who share their stories just because he finds them "off putting" & "uncomfortable" so I don't think this is reasonable but still he made the second video to "explain" and told people "you're the problem, not me".

    Don't know who he is or don't care. But this isn't it.

    Edited 3 times, last by onlyfacts ().

  • I know what he meant because people say it all the time about parasocial relationships.

    I don't know any BTS fans that have severe mental health problems and easy access to therapy but choose to ignore that in favour of BTS tbh.


    I just realised I said 'talk to directly', when kpop idols do actually interact with some fans one on one and in person.

    But yeah, still kinda similar to religion as we cannot have a relationship with them that is exactly the same as a close friend or family member.

  • Tbh just do it. You can’t always find the right words, especially if english isn’t your native language. If people didn’t understood you, try to explain yourself. If they don’t wanna listen and continue judge and antagonize you, there is a high chance that they weren’t there to give you the benefit of doubt in the first place anyway.


    Someone who isn’t biased towards you would at least try to understand you better by asking you to further elaborate or will reply with constructive and reasonable counter arguments to question yours. This is how a healthy conversation should look like, even if both sides disagree with each other.

    I'll probably post it later this year

    I love Pikachu.

    Always have, Always will.


    "Pika-Pi"

  • Maybe "mansplaining" isn't the accurate word, but he definitely expresses his opinion in a condescending manner. Thus, I agree with you on how it comes across. If he's really addressing people with mental health issues, his choice of words is in poor taste.


    I guess I have a soft spot for him because I've seen his other content, so I know he genuinely puts in effort to address social justice issues. He's passionate about that, and I have respect for people doing what they can to make the world a better place. I hope you understand where I'm coming from.


    He definitely shouldn't be lumped into the same category as the thousands of racist white guys who hate on BTS and are xenophobic behind the veil of false concern. Not saying you're labeling him as such, but it's likely others are already doing so. At the end of the day, he and BTS are fighting the same battles in a white man's world. That's all I'm saying.

    It's good that he is doing those things with his time/platform and I will not invalidate those actions because of what he said here, but back to this particular incident, the connections he made in his head when he heard BTS fans say that line were quite clear.


    He never claimed to be concerned about fans. If he wanted to lecture his audience about the dangers of parasocial relationships, he could have just done that, but he didn't.


    Honestly many non white guys don't like/respect them, so I didn't even bring race into it.

  • My thoughts/views on social issues, bringing awareness to mental health issues etc.

    I am thinking of making videos and posting it on YouTube/TikTok and other video platforms.

    That's good but just be careful because you cannot take back anything you have posted.

    And research thoroughly.

  • Instead of spouting this bull, he should have talked to maybe a couple of Armys first just to get a perspective of how "BTS saved them".


    I suffered depression a long time ago and though I'm in a better mental space now, there are still hard days.

    A lot of BTS songs encourage me to keep going and not look back.

    Magic Shop and Answer: Love Myself are my go to songs when my day is not going well.


    What's uncomfortable and unhealthy about that?

  • I agree none of us can judge who and what makes a person feel better even if they go through tough stuff like depression, anxiety or stress.

    “we never felt so young”

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  • He's so condescending in this video. The way he's saying all this is rubbing me the wrong way.

    You don't need bts to know you personally for them to bring you happiness and comfort in life wtf. The fact that he's shaming people who do and calling it 'uncomfortable' is really off-putting. I've never seen anyone say they are choosing bts over going to therapy either.

  • Usually it is the one thing that destroys something good. And first impression is very important. This opinion of his invalidated every good opinion he has made before IMO. I’m not gonna take him seriously with this mindset. That’s what happens when you give ignorant takes on sensitive issues.

    You don’t know who you are hurting deeply with your callous words

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