Stan K-Pop in a way that's healthy for you

  • I read this on pann choa https://pann-choa.blogspot.com…ne-leaving-idols.html?m=1 A girl unstanned her bias and feels guilt that she spent so much money on him.


    It's also a common thing for fans to have a crisis after an in-person meet and greet when they get slapped in the face with the fact that they're not in a unique and special relationship with whoever they love most, they're a consumer. Parasocial means a one-sided relationship. Idols are trained to connect with us in a way that makes us feel seen and understood and loved. But it's not real. It's part of their skillset in their career. (That's not to say they are bad, most of them got into this young just wanting to be a popstar, the companies are the cynical ones.) The tagline for K-Pop could be "Show us how much you care! The best fans work hard and give us a lot of money!"


    If K-Pop is starting to stress you, here are some ways to preserve your mental health:


    - Don't take on stanning as an unpaid job. Your school is more important, your work, friends, family, working towards your own future. Don't let yourself get pressured into throwing away time streaming and voting if you'd rather not. If your fave loses some poll it doesn't matter, they won't even know. If you want to do this stuff but you're busy AF, just participate in ones that really matter like awards show voting. If anyone gets on your back over it block them, they're not worth your time either.


    - Don't spend money you can't afford to spend, especially if you get nothing back (sending money to fansites so they can bulk buy albums for themselves). Your faves don't need you to buy 20 albums to prove your love, they're doing more than fine. It's irresponsible that some official fansites require fans to upload receipts of multiple album purchase to get exclusive content or to try and win a place at a fansign. That shouldn't be encouraged by companies, and I think these strategies are a big part of what causes so much upset.


    - Don't get brainwashed into hating other idols. It happens insidiously on places like twitter and if you're a decent person it will end up making you feel bad about yourself while achieving nothing else. There's a saying that goes "Hating someone is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die." It's a waste of your time. The best antidote I found is to expose yourself to the content of whoever is triggering you and get to know them. Interviews, reality shows, music. You don't need to be a fan but it's worth de-programming yourself from hating them.

    And enjoy shipping if you like it, but understand that it's your fantasy life only, and you cannot influence who your fave (or fictional arch-nemesis) ends up dating. That's up to them, realistically it won't affect your life.


    Also remember that any K-Pop idol could have wound up as your bias if it had been a different day and a different video you landed on. And then you could be hating on your current fave. (So that means in a parallel universe you are;-)).


    Don't sacrifice anything and don't prioritize anyone else over your own mental health and happiness. If K-Pop is making you stressed or sad, pull back and re-calibrate. Though K-Pop has its problems that doesn't mean that you can't find authentic comfort in it, or entertainment, music, looking at hot bodies and cute faces, whatever you're here for. Enjoy your fantasy friend/boyfriend/girlfriend experience. Just make sure it's on your terms, however that works best for you.


    (And yes writing essays is fun for me. Especially on Sundays.)


    tldr - peer pressure is bad, don't make yourself sick over pop stars

  • I would add: don't forget this is only your choice of entertainment. It's good as long as it makes you feel good and happy and your life doesn't evolve around it.

  • Generally, stanning should make you feel GOOD. It's totally okay to pay for merch and albums if it makes you happy, but as soon as you feel that you 'have' to do something to be a good fan, whether it's voting, streaming, buying etc... I would advise to take a step back.


    You don't owe anything to your groups, which also means that they don't owe anything to you. Let's keep it that way and the kpop world will be a healthier one.

  • People including myself should be limited when it comes to stanning an idol/group. There is certain things like it's okay if you want to buy the album to help your faves win or buy their merch but make sure it is in accordance with your money level. If you don't have enough money there no need to force yourself to buy it.


    Another thing is when people keep telling the idols what they should do to their lives likes who is suitable to be their boyfriend/girlfriend/friend. It's their life, no need to think of that as one of your personal issue.

  • This is super important, and especially with people who are on twitter 24/7 and fighting/streaming with no sleep, kpop fans have a serious obsession problem. (I said the same of 1d fans, especially those crazy larries) I think someone from NCT said it recently but he said "I'm just your hobby" and other things can come first. Remember not to get too emotionally attached because your favs are human too and not perfect.

  • This is super important, and especially with people who are on twitter 24/7 and fighting/streaming with no sleep, kpop fans have a serious obsession problem. (I said the same of 1d fans, especially those crazy larries) I think someone from NCT said it recently but he said "I'm just your hobby" and other things can come first. Remember not to get too emotionally attached because your favs are human too and not perfect.

    I think Doyoung has said things like that to fans. I know Yuta has made his feelings clear too^^ But the really immersed fans probably don't want to hear it.

  • I’ve never let K pop take over or consume my life. Groups don’t know me or a part of my world so have never confused reality with fantasy. It has caused me to grow up a bit even at my age whereby now I’m just a casual listener.

  • The main goal from stanning a kpop artist should be out own personal enjoyment not the advancement of the idols' lifestyle at the expense of our own time and money.

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