Hello new user old lurker

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i completely agree with that...

thats why i said that i really value the resilience trait...like you said not everyone can do that because of the psychological issues...

what was the precursor to your bullying was it just 'getting picking on ' or a different reason

I also looked different than most and like u know by own experience, children are cruel to whatever looks different to them.

luckily after puberty hit me i felt like i was born again, it's a completely different experience once ppl think ur hot and u start thinking you're hot too.

but one of the bullying scars i couldn't get rid of was the mistrust: i can't trust any guy at all. I've seen them at their worst so i know how fake and shallow they can be so it's really really really hard to impress me. I know i could let go of this pessimistic pov and focus on the positive of people but i'd rather wait for the right time to be with someone than to rush things and settle for less. That makes me more of a loner but anything have it's pros and cons anyway.

Quote from selfmate

i agree with you on the trust issue... i just don't trust anyone period or rather people have to earn my trust instead of having it normally like other people...

guys can be jerks especially around girls... so yeah wait for that special someone snd it will be even more special

Like, i don't think it's exactly a trust issue but more like having the ability of detecting assholes/the wrong ppl right away. Like just small things like if they're interested just for sex, if they're the type of talking shit of women behind their back, if they take them for granted once they start a relationship, if we have a similar way of thinking or not, if we are on the same vibe etc i just can tell. I'm not an expert in analyzing people, but at least when it comes to romantic relationships I know i can trust my instincts about others. If i ever date someone, they must be so attractive to me (meaning that they at least have insane chemistry with me even if they are considered the ugliest by the entire world) that any of their flaws would look worth the headache lmao. So far haven't found any

Quote from selfmate

I think I can get where you are coming from

well good luck in your quest to find that person (and do lose them once you do lol)

Oh i know damn well i will never find that person unless i stop being a control freak

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don't say that - finding that someone can be difficult but its worth it...but then again I always tell people this story

There was this girl who dreamed of finding the one - Mr Perfect if you will and set forth beaming with hope. She crossed a bridge and an old man fishing asked what she was doing and she replied that she was going forth to the world to find Mr Perfect.

A few years later this girl comes back across the bridge with sadness and dejection in her eyes and the old man fishing remembers her and asks hey did you find Mr Perfect and she replied yes I found him. The old man asks "and?" the girl replies "I found him but he was looking for Miss Perfect"

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Oh damn lmao that's deep, i like that

Like i knew it's stupid to think like that but with the story, it helped me to see it clearer. Thank you. I think that type of judging will eventually go away with time.

Quote from selfmate

i mean i dont know you that well except from what you shared so always remember that sometimes dating is just dating, getting to know someone...it might or often the case might not lead anywhere...

if it turns out the dude is an asshole just try. again lol

that way you can maybe find that someone once you've gone through the duds

Hm i see, tbh most of the time I'm just not interested at all but i like what you said, will keep that in mind. Thank you! i will come here from time to time so please keep posting ur little facts about yourself

Quote from selfmate

no probs

and dm me or something should you ever decide to start dating... lol tell me all about the dude who managed to win you over

Ah sure haha it's fun and surprisingly easy to talk about stuff like that with you

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remember i'm an old boomer with my own kpop megachurch

Boomers are fun

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TRI

I was bullied quite heavily as a child during my primary/elementary school years.

In my school back in the 90s I was the only Asian let alone Chinese kid...so all the white kids would gang up on me because of my race...racism was still quite prevalent back then...

I would be involved with fights...like every other day but the physical assault was nothing compared to the mental and emotional one...

I had suicidal thoughts at one point back as a kid...

but it also made me appreciate who i was and who I am...

It's one of the primary reasons I started listening to rap and people like Eminem and Tupac.

but starting high school there were suddenly other Asians and Chinese like me so there was no bullying at all (at least to my knowledge)

I think the bullying made me a stronger person - it gave me resilience and I think that its one of the traits most important to me. I think its also why i like groups who came from nothing who were beaten down to come back stronger and better.

It also made me want to be better than them to show me I am better than they are and to prove in life I am 100% better off than you will ever be...

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rainbowblink224 says I admire you

Quote from selfmate

selfmate says no admiration needed just giving my own life experiences...

rainbowblink224 says you're a really strong person. I felt really bad after reading your story but it was also inspiring to me.

selfmate I will read this entire thread word by word. To finlay learn more about you