Speculating about idols sexuality- Acceptable or not?

1st Official Post

    Speculating on an idols sexuality? 48

    1. Acceptable (8) 17%
    2. Unacceptable (30) 63%
    3. It depends (please explain) (10) 21%

    What are people’s views on this? I am writing from the perspective of a bisexual woman but I want to know what everyone thinks, regardless of their orientation :-)


    Recently people were asking Sehun on a live if he was gay and I think that is taking it way too far. What makes it worse is that when he answered and said “no, I’m not”, there were fans who straight up called him a liar. They need to respect his word on this. Too often I have seen fans who label idols sexuality and literally say “x is gay”, refusing to accept otherwise. The reaction to Chaeyoung from Twice having a boyfriend is indicative of this. To me, desperately wanting someone to be gay or bisexual indicates you haven’t fully come to terms with your own sexuality yet, otherwise it wouldn’t matter. There is also the fact South Korea is not accepting of homosexuality, so too much speculation could be harmful. Add shipping and K pop queerbaiting in top of it all, and it all feels very fetishising.


    On the other hand, some fans are definitely quite homophobic with their insistence that every single idol must be straight. Of course some of the reasoning behind questioning someone’s sexuality is silly, but when Oh My God by (G)- idle came out, fans desperately shut down any discussion over whether the song was about Soyeon and a woman, despite the lyrics clearly lending themselves to people wondering.

    Personally, speculating is meh until the idol themselves have explicitly stated their sexuality.


    If an idol explicitly states that they are straight, then they’re straight and speculation should end immediately after that.


    If the idol themselves haven’t stated anything then it’s okay to speculate, but don’t push labels onto idols without fully knowing their sexuality. Don’t ask them for it, wait for the idols to speak.


    TLDR:

    Basically, it’s better not to ask, or comment anything outwardly but you can have your own reservations on it until the idol themselves have explicated stated their sexuality. Don’t push labels onto idols.

    Tbh this is really a complicated situation where we have situations like companies pushing idols to interact with their groupmate in a "gay way" to gain fans and visibility. So fans who are majority teen with their own doubts just start taking things too far with their minds and creating a whole mess of sexualization about others people lives.

    I don't see the necessity to "discover" others sexuality, but I can understand the curiosity some kids may have. Taking it too far and just accepting your truth is just wrong, but then again, we just reached this level thanks to the companies and delusional fans so it's a subject that will always be discussed...

    I think it's depend of the situation as like I said before the companies really push some interactions that may confuse us and making the ships go wild.

    Unfortunately bc of things like this we now have a bunch of deluded fans who ships idols who never interacted neither seems close and this is not acceptable, but it's "common".


    My answer is DEPENDS...

    Long text, but I find this subject worth my long text kkkk

    Is it okay Publicly/in fan spaces? Depends on for whom, and why it's happening.


    Unfortunately fan service invites it often, and take cultural differences into account and it's not surprising people talk about it a lot.


    Also, art scenes tend to have a higher percentage of self-aware non-straights in them, often by a LOT, and especially in quite repressive countries like Korea. This is pretty universal, so everyone is aware it's super unlikely all our idols are straight. I believe there's a good amount of subtle signaling among idols, and you can't ask people to ignore that.


    For LGBTQ+ plus fans, it can be really comforting to be able to discuss the idea their idols aren't straight without judgement and in an open atmosphere. It's fun and interesting and ideally creates an atmosphere where there's nothing wrong or bad about the idea these beautiful people are gay or bi etc.


    BUT - for the idols themselves, living in Korea, especially for the majority who will end up in the famously terrible-to-LGBT ARMY? It's not great at all. It's even possibly dangerous.


    Still treating it as some terrible sin to discuss it ignores how Idols do fan service, at times seem to invite speculation/show their allyship or pride, and that there is nothing wrong in a universal sense with them being gay and it brings comfort to fans to discuss.


    In short: idk it's complicated af.

    If you want to discuss it among other fans without being disrespectful, I think it is OK. You should never bring it up with the idols. Idols are strangers and deserve the same respect you would show to the average person. Most people would be rude if a stranger approached them asking about their sexuality.

    It depends


    For me idol sexuality is their private life and not my concern at all so i really don't care about the person they love, date or whatever. It's not my concern at all. And I think it should be kept private, idols also have the right to privacy.


    The fans who harass the idols on their live, concert and others about their delusions of couples or their sexuality are crazy. It's always very embarassing to see the idols live or on shows having to face this kind of question, we can see that they are very uncomfortable.


    However I have nothing against harmless shippers, I'm talking about those who have fantasy based on fanfiction and the like as long as they keep it private and don't bore the idols with it.


    As long as it remains imaginary that does not be a problem, it is when some fans try to push too much the reality which suits them that it becomes it.

    • Official Post

    It's one thing to discuss it respectively, but it's another to assume or force a label onto them. As you mentioned the thing that happened to Sehun is completely unacceptable. I feel like just flat out asking a virtual stranger "Hey, are you gay?" is honestly kind of rude. If a person is willing to publicly state their sexuality then that's perfectly fine, but to pry into someone's personal life when you don't know them is just super rude to me.


    I do personally dislike assuming idol's sexuality because so much of it is based on stereotypes. A few months ago there was a trend on Twitter to make "Gayest K-Pop Idol" rankings and one put Holland at #10 and when people started calling them out for putting one of the only openly gay idols at the end of the list it became a whole gross discussion about gay stereotypes. I only read about half the thread, but I just felt really gross and depressed.


    As a person who took almost a decade to accept their sexuality, I completely understand the desire to identify and connect with an idol on that level. I just think we all need to remember boundaries and not to make judgements based on harmful tropes.

    Why would it be unacceptable if they are constantly selling the lesbian/gay fantasy?


    If you're getting profits from doing a queerbait then take some responsability because people WILL question your sexual preferences. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that

    i mean you can speculate / gossip about sexuality of idols, but please dont ask directly to the idols themselves.


    They dont have the obligation to tell u and you dont have the right to ask either.

    Quote from quark12395

    It's one thing to discuss it respectively, but it's another to assume or force a label onto them. As you mentioned the thing that happened to Sehun is completely unacceptable. I feel like just flat out asking a virtual stranger "Hey, are you gay?" is honestly kind of rude. If a person is willing to publicly state their sexuality then that's perfectly fine, but to pry into someone's personal life when you don't know them is just super rude to me.


    I do personally dislike assuming idol's sexuality because so much of it is based on stereotypes. A few months ago there was a trend on Twitter to make "Gayest K-Pop Idol" rankings and one put Holland at #10 and when people started calling them out for putting one of the only openly gay idols at the end of the list it became a whole gross discussion about gay stereotypes. I only read about half the thread, but I just felt really gross and depressed.


    As a person who took almost a decade to accept their sexuality, I completely understand the desire to identify and connect with an idol on that level. I just think we all need to remember boundaries and not to make judgements based on harmful tropes.

    ^ I echo this. Beautifully said.

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