Do you think taking care of elderly parents are part of children's responsibility? What about your cultural pov?

Only if your parent is deserving of being taken care of.

I don't believe in an explicit obligation that every child must follow.

If your parent did right by you when raising you, it makes sense to do right by them when they get older.

But some parents shouldn't get that respect.

In my mind, no because you didn't choose to be born to your parents. And yes, they may have raised you and took care of you, but they are supposed to do that regardless. It's not a transactional relationship.

But regardless, for me personally, I'll always have emotional attachment to my parents. There are rough points and things I don't like about them, but I love them nonetheless. I will feel compelled to take care of them regardless.

If you parent well, I do think being taken cared of can come about naturally without an enforced obligation really.

tbh, Yes.

I find throwing parents under... care of things that are not trust worthy is just heart breaking

maybe I am soft

but I remember watching The Father and I do not recall the last time I cried so much watching a movie? IDK man... My weakness I suppose

If the parents treated the children with respect and love while raising them, then sure. Reciprocating acts of kindness is just the right thing to do. You can say you didn't ask to be their child, but I think all people who are psychologically healthy appreciate life and the opportunity it gives them. And of course, if the children aren't in a state where they do appreciate having life, they're not in the state to take care of their parents.

Quote from pinksz

tbh, Yes.

I find throwing parents under... care of things that are not trust worthy is just heart breaking

maybe I am soft

but I remember watching The Father and I do not recall the last time I cried so much watching a movie? IDK man... My weakness I suppose

As someone who's volunteered at old folks' homes... I know what you mean. The level of emotional abuse they have to endure while at their most fragile time of life is just utterly pointless and heartbreaking.

IMO Yes. They raised you for the most vulnerable parts of your life, did the dirty and annoying stuff like change nappies or take you to school activities which you're shit at and hopefully were there to provide wisdom and support through your formative years. Those are experiences and actions that have no other similarities in life unless you raise a kid yourself. It's the least a child could do for a parent is look after them when they're old and less able if they’re financially, emotionally stable.

That's both part my culture and my own opinion. I never got the chance to look after my dad but I will spoil my mum when the time comes.

I think it depends on the family but in my culture parents tend to look after their children even after they're 18 so during adulthood it's kinda like looking after each other (as same level hierarchy you know?) so once parents get older it just naturally shifts

Quote from LavenderBobaTea

As someone who's volunteered at old folks' homes... I know what you mean. The level of emotional abuse they have to endure while at their most fragile time of life is just utterly pointless and heartbreaking.

this just makes me sad for real, I can't even express properly, this might be something I think a lot about because people around me are elderly it hurts to read stuff like that

I am a very annoying person full of flaws to the core might even need 1000 lives to correct myself but this would something I don't wish not even in my worst enemy, I would be there for any member of my family it is a very sensitive topic that I can talk however my thoughts can't be well expressed, because I don't like judge people like I was some sort of higher entity but I do get sad about families just throwing their elderly on those homes for older and by the looks of it you were a nice person around, more power to you!

yes I'm Chinese filial piety is very much ingrained in our culture and even if it wasn't of course I'd take care of my parents they are my parents

now obviously if one had shit parents then the obligation no longer exists...because even in Chinese culture there exists an obligation for the parent to take care of the child both growing up and even after reaching adulthood...

regardless even of my culture - I would say that if you had good decent parents growing up then the obligation is to take care of them when they are older - vice versa if your parents were shit to you then the obligation is less relevant

Quote from horizonshard

Only if your parent is deserving of being taken care of.

I don't believe in an explicit obligation that every child must follow.

If your parent did right by you when raising you, it makes sense to do right by them when they get older.

But some parents shouldn't get that respect.

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this

i want to support my mom even though she has enough money to live comfortably on her own

i could not care less about my father he does not deserve shit

Yes, that's love..especially if they taught you how to be a good human being.

my mom said I should have children bc who will take care of my when I get old, that seems like a selfish way to see paternity IMO, but I guess she has an old-fashioned way to see things.

I will take care of her when she get older bc I love her but I do not wish to have kids, especially for them to take care of me. I have never felt that motherhood feeling and I doubt I will ever get as pregnancy on itself and all it brings is repulsive to me

Most of my friends my age feel the same, they just don't want to deal with children, their pets are their kids

In my culture when people gets too old we sacrifice them by throwing them off a cliff.

Yes. Unless your parents were abusive towards you. Then there's no obligation and frankly, if you still take care of them, you are a fucking saint...or a fool.

Also, how one treats their parents is a big indicator of the kind of person they are. If someone can turn their back on their parents and leave them in their years of need, they can betray anyone in their life.

If they are deserving then yes. I'll take care of my parents when I'm older or at last visit them a lot if I'm overseas.

It is until it gets too much and they have to go into care. That happened with my late father, he had age related dementia and had to go into care after being in his own house for nigh on 30 years. He was forgetting to feed himself and neglecting his self care. My sister who was Power of Attorney had to make the heartbreaking decision to put him into an aged care facility. Neither of us had the emotional capacity to take care of our ailing father and although it was cruel, it was the only option. Sadly he passed away in there in late 2020. He was 93.