[ TW Bullying] Something simple seems very hard for some of you to understand here.

  • This is for all of you who go," Why Now?" when someone is comes out with an experience of being bullied.

    Obviously this thread has been created based on what I have seen surrounding the incidents in K-pop these days but its not about those incidents, its about the attitude some of you have.

    I don

    t know if the "let's protect our faves" mentality blocks you from being empathetic, but let's get one thing clear.

    Bullying leaves deep, and sometimes permanent scars on people.

    It can be very very hard for them to even talk about the days they were being bullied.

    It can take years to really overcome the fear of even looking back on those days.

    Therefore, please stop asking "why now?" when stories do come out.

    You can question legitimacy of the stories if you want to, but the why now comments are just insensitive, and honestly kind of throw away all the pain victims go through.

  • I agree. As someone who has had friends who have been sexually harassed and have decided to come out with their stories years after it happened, I can't tell you how much pain the 'why now' question has brought us. Why is it that people can't just listen to what potential victims have to stay instead of pulling every card to make sure the legitimacy of their claims are questioned?

  • ^^The cover up crowd are hilarious...like no one in Korea knows or gives a shit about Soojin, Mingyu or Hyunjin lmao....they don't even know them, this scandal made them famous lmao.


    But just gonna say, if you read some of the things coming out 90% of it isn't even that bad, like someone came out and said they saw one of the idols smoking out the back of school....like so? Who the fuck cares, what's that have to do with anything.

    Other people saying this idol and me had a disagreement or he/she swore at me? Okay? What do you want us to do with that? Oh someone was slightly mean to you when you were 12...change your nappy and get over it.


    If anyone has been on Korean boards and actually reading some of this shit like 90% of the stuff that has come out so far has ether been flat out disproved, only one side of the story, not investigated or accepted by the idol in question and apologized. People need to be very clear as to what people want, an apology or a pound of flesh.


    They also need to take steps to mentally prepare that they put their stories out in the public and if the fans still choose to support their idol these victims and those standing with them have no say in that and if fans side with their idol swallow that lump in your throat and get over it, act like an adult.

  • Some stories appear in very odd moments where you really have to ask yourself “ why now” it can’t be a coincidence that when ever a politician or other high ranking people get involved in a scandal the Kpop world suddenly is in chaos with people being exposed left and right. I think depending on the individual situation asking this seems valid.

  • exactly! I was bullied from grade 3 to 10 and this stopped 6 years ago. People really do not realize what it does to a person. It completely changes how your brain works.


    And imagine you were bullied, graduated and started new. Then your bully debuts. Maybe you don´t really notice because you are not into idols or because you want to forget. Then gradually your bully becomes more famous. You turn on the TV, they are on a variety show you used to like. You stop watching. A few days later, you turn on the TV again. A CF appears of your bully. This is triggering all your pas wounds you thought you have overcome. On the subway you see CFs of your bully, some coworkers mention their drama appearance. This is stressful af. Especially in South Korea therapy or other mental health-things are not accessible and frown upon.


    Most people do not take bullying serious, and when you are turned down a few times or teachers tell you to not talk about it, plus a a merciless bully convinces you that you are not worth the oxygen you inhale you start to believe that you deserve it and that nobody is willing or able to help you.

  • I was bullied in middle school, it ruined all my scholarity and even after as I fell into depression and developed a fear to just go out of my home, several time I just skipped school because I couldn't find the strenght in me to face my fears. I just wanted to die. For years just thinking about those times gave me panic attacks and the depression is still there even if I'm feeling better now. Because of being bullied in middle school I have real difficulty to interact with people, it was hell to find a work and keep it as I could not control panic attacks.


    So yes bullying leave deep scars, for years. It can destroy someone life and it's not something that should be dismissed as youthful mistakes. If a kids kill or rape someone will you say it's just a mistake ? At 13 years old you are old enough to know what is right and what is wrong.


    I want to clarify, the bullying that I suffered is not physical violence or sexual harassment. But mental harassment is not to take lightly too. And everyone has different limit of what they can endure, so if you think what the bully made its victim suffer is nothing serious, it can be really serious in the victim point of view.

  • I was bullied in early high school and it got so bad that I skipped school which nearly ended in me being expelled. It was relentless, day in, day out. It was in physical and verbal form and of course teachers or the Principal did nothing about it. This affected my self esteem and confidence to which I live with to this day at 52.


    If this can happen to an ordinary person, it must be far worse for an idol or somebody who’s going to become one. Bullies are insecure and have underlying issues that causes empowerment and control of their victim. Being shy and different is a weakness they prey upon. It’s no joking matter, it ruins lives.

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